bikram ramblings...

Happy 2012!

2012-01-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

I've been practicing a few times a week-ish but just haven't had much to say about the yoga. Where are all of my pithy observations? I just don't know. I'm doing Weight Watchers at the moment and once I lose 10 pounds I'm going to wear the new shorter shorts I bought from the Lululemon 'we made too much' section. Other than that, not much yoga-related stuff happening around here.

Bikram break...

2011-12-04T12:36:00.001-08:00

I feel like Bikram yoga and I were on a break for the past 2-3 weeks, but now I want to recommit. The weather has turned chilly here in Seattle so the hot room feels so nice these days.
In other news, I think I might be the only tattoo-free person at ye olde yoga studio. My 'costume' would look so much better with a strategically placed tattoo methinks. My birthday is in January so maybe it's time for a tattoo...

cold yoga

2011-11-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

Did a vinyasa class yesterday. It was interesting. It was also the longest 75 minutes of my life. I have some weird aches and pains today, but overall my body handled all of the down dogs fairly well. However the room the class was held in (a room at the gym I've joined for the next two months) didn't have a clock. The class just sort of ebbed and flowed - I couldn't detect any real pattern to it. There was a point where I thought it would never end... and finally it did. Tonight I did a spin/strength class. I was in pain by the end. I miss my Bikram!

I'm an a**hole (but not really)

2011-11-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

Practiced with my mom last Sunday. It was a great class - hot but not too hot, crowded but not too crowded, challenging but not too challenging. Then I practiced again on Monday. It felt off because the room wasn't hot enough. I felt like a real Bikram yogini the first time I thought the room wasn't hot enough :) But really there is a point where the lack of heat makes it hard to bend and the whole thing just feels wrong. So Tuesday I walk to class and think, "I hope it's hot enough in class tonight!" AND I WAS NEARLY KILLED BY THE HEAT! And I cursed myself during class because of course I blamed myself for the excessive heat. The heat was so excessive that when the instructor realized the heat was excessive, she opened the door AND IT DIDN'T HELP! She turned the fans on - IT DIDN'T HELP. She opened the doors again - IT DIDN'T HELP. The room was possessed. And it was my fault! (not really)
Anyway, that was a horrible class and I haven't practiced since. Sometimes a girl just needs some friend time and couch time and treadmill time!

yogups and yogdowns...

2011-10-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you a secret? I haven't been on my mat much at all. I practiced today and yesterday but I'm not sure when I practiced before that. It may have been last month. I did go out of town twice. But that's not a great excuse.
Class last night was so incredibly hot. It challenged my body and my mind. Just when I was at the point where I had completely had it with class, my teacher bent down and said, "Would you like me to stand on your feet?" Of course I said yes because when someone offers to stand on your sweaty feet, you can't say no. And it felt amazing and it was just nice and kind and all of those good things that I don't have enough of in my life right now.
Class tonight was fine. When I walked in, one of the instructors called out, "Hey (nickname based on my last name)" which again was a bit of random kindness that I really appreciated. I do have friends who call me that, but sometimes the yoga studio gets a bit earnest so it was nice to have that friendly welcome.
I've done some soul searching and a bit of a life inventory and quite frankly, I'm not satisfied. I first did Bikram yoga almost 4 years ago after a life change event and I've been struggling through some of the same crap since then. I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DEALING WITH THE SAME ISSUES. It's time for self-help and this time it's coming in the form of a book called Happy Yoga: 7 Reasons Why There's Nothing to Worry About. I think this is a fairly profound book especially considering the kind of silly title. I'm only part way through but so far it's part buddhism, part new age and part common sense. In the chapter on love, it talks about putting love out there to people who you don't know... so I feel the need to give a little shoutout to my internet yoga family. : hugs yogis and yoginis : Wishing you loads of yoga and non-yoga happiness this week!

.

2011-09-26T21:06:00.001-07:00

Didn't make it to my mat today. Could only make it as far as the workout room in my building for 3 miles on the treadmill. Everything is fine and yet everything is not fine. It seems to have officially turned to fall here in Seattle and it's hitting me hard. In my new-ish neighborhood/life, I drive way less which means that the change in weather impacts me more. Had to wear rain boots on my walk to work this morning, it was dark soon after I got home this evening. There are many fine things to do inside in the evenings like yoga for example and crafting and drinking wine and curling up with a good book, but I'm not ready to say goodbye to summer and sunshine. I don't want another season to pass.
I should have made it to my mat today. Oh well - it will still be there for me tomorrow.

good yoga + crazy smoothies

2011-08-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

Finally had my good yoga class. It was yesterday and it was glorious. I felt strong and bendy!
Got back on my mat today and it wasn't as good as yesterday. Earlier in the day today, I felt like a tense, stressed out ball of anxiety and that doesn't exactly lead to good yoga. But I feel better now and I got some thinking done in the yoga room. I almost cried during locust pose. I felt sorry for myself and thought some very negative thoughts, but I left it on my mat and then after class it was CRAZY SMOOTHIE TIME!
I used to often make a signature dish I called my crasian (crazy asian) stir fry - it was a pan-asian stir fry of my own devising. Now I have moved on to crazy smoothies! Today's creation featured grapefruit juice, frozen strawberries, a bit of cut up orange, half a banana, spinach from a bag and a dash of honey. Not bad. Not bad at all.

well that was unpleasant + everything zen?

2011-08-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

I really deserve to have a fantastic yoga class after all of the terrible ones I've had lately. But it did not happen tonight. Yes, I have myself to blame for part of it. I did not hydrate well today. And I ate a lunch that did not settle particularly well. That left me feeling both dehydrated and like I was possibly going to shit myself in class today. I sat out A LOT of second sets during the standing series. Oh well. I survived and made a crazy delicious smoothie after class consisting of grapefruit juice, orange, strawberries, spinach and a splash of honey. It was nomtastic!

In other news, THE MAN is coming to the Seattle area. His lecture ain't cheap - $60 in advance or $70 at the door. I saw one of my fave teachers at the studio today and asked him if he thinks it's worth it. He said that he paid ten grand to hear him speak at teacher training. If you do the math, that makes the $60 seem like a pretty good deal :) I'm not sure whether I will end up going or not. I've been trying to cut my spending these days and focus on being calm and creative and just content with my 'real' life. I'm not sure that spending $60 to see Bikram really fits in with that. I'm probably thinking too deeply about this. Also the 90s band BUSH is coming to Seattle as well and that's $40 once all the ticket fees are included and my inner teenager really wants me to go! Everything zen? I DON'T THINK SOOOOOOOOOOO....

angry yogi - part deux

2011-08-15T21:40:00.001-07:00

Holy bad yoga class, batman! Seriously. It was bad. I came into class not well hydrated, it was hot as hades and there were about 15 new people and one was super disruptive. I was on the hot side of the room and I was having thoughts like, "Who do I have to blow to get the ceiling fans turned on???" It was not one of my prouder moments. It's kinda funny to look back on though :)
What did I learn from tonight? Well, it's always good to bring an emergency snack to yoga in case you're feeling like crap on the way home. I like the Honey Stinger Pomegranate chews. I also realized that this practice has it's ups and downs. It is a physical practice but it's also a mental one. I like to think that I left something negative on my mat that won't have to be with me in the rest of my life.
Hopefully you were able to be a little more zen in your practice today :)

sporadic

2011-08-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

In this case, I'm using the word sporadic to refer to my blogging and in a lesser degree, my Bikram practice. I've been practicing 2-3 times a week. Not exactly where I want to be - I would prefer to be at 4ish times a week, but you know how it is. Life tends to get in the way of yoga.
There have been a few bloggable yoga moments. Last week, I was in class and it was hot and it sucked and my inner angry yogi came out. It amused me a bit because I hadn't experience angry yogi in a while. Bored yogi is way more common than angry yogi. I was seriously pissed off at the teacher because she kept us in a couple of postures for so damn long! You know how it is when you've been practicing for a while - you have an idea of what a legit length of time to be in the posture is... and once you go past that, either you feel like a super strong rock star or you get angry! Again it made me want to check the schedule a little more carefully because clearly this teacher isn't for me if she brings out the angry yogi!
I think I have finally figured out a water bottle situation that works for me. I've blogged about the water or no water thing here before in the past, but I have realized that what works for me right now is to consume a small amount of icy cold water during class. I tried doing water without ice, but I would look longingly at others in the yoga room with ice and that seemed a bit dumb. I do feel better when I drink less so having a huge bottle full of icy water doesn't really work for me either - too tempting. What I do now is that I fill up my water bottle at home with just ice. Ice all the way to the top. The melting of the ice is a natural rationing system. I can't drink a ton of water during party time because there isn't a ton of water there to drink. It's been working well so far!
Ummmm yeah, can't think of what other Bikram-related fascination minutia I wanted to share with you beautiful people, but I'll try not to stay away for so long...

Boredom

2011-07-19T22:34:00.001-07:00

Two posts in one day? Who do I think I am - a real blogger? :) Kidding. What I want to address in this post is boredom. I got this comment from Serena today...

I have a random question. But when you started doing lots of yoga, probably about a year in, did you get insanely bored?
I just finished a 30 day challenge on July 1st. I got super sick and was out for a good 2 weeks, and now I can barely get myself to the studio because I am so bored. I find myself hating the class when I'm in it, but I love how it helps my body. I am wondering if you have any advice!

Do I get insanely bored in class sometimes? Or most of the time? HELLS YES! Personally I think being bored and being unplugged is probably one of the best things about Bikram yoga for me. I find that I'm rarely bored any more - I soothe myself with technology and entertainment pretty much my whole life. If I go to the gym, I watch tv while on the treadmill. If I go for a walk, I have my ipod. If I'm in line at the bank, I have my phone out. I'm on email pretty much all day at work. Basically Bikram yoga (and the take off and landing part of a flight) are the only places where I can truly unplug. Yes, there are times when the 90 minutes feels like 90 hours, but my mind always feels more clear afterwards. Occasionally I love doing the yoga just for the joy of the poses, but for the most part, being a yogi just makes me a better person in the rest of my life. Like Serena, I love how it helps my body, but it also helps my mind.

Ok, so I've babbled about boredom and how boredom is good even though it sucks during class... now let's talk about how I've actually dealt with the boredom. I've done quite a few things including:

1. taking time off from my mat. My practice (and blogging) tends to be sporadic. Since becoming a yogi, I've run a half marathon, dabbled in various gym workouts and brief flirtation with Crossfit, and have had months where I just drank beer and didn't exercise. I think it's fine to take time off and do other things - Bikram is a very time consuming practice. I understand the 90 minutes of poses is awesome but sometimes I get why people go to 60 minute non-Bikram hot classes.

2. bribed myself with lululemon clothes, enchiladas, beer. This isn't something I'm proud of but I have bought new yoga clothes to get myself pumped for class. I often get enchiladas from the rad mexican place in my 'hood, but ONLY after yoga! And I've used the fact that I did (or was going to do yoga the next day) to justify high calorie beverages.

3. tried to be zen and consider the class a moving meditation. I am by no means a Buddhist but there are many aspects of the Buddhist tradition that I enjoy. One quote that sticks with me is "Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood carry water." So the way I apply that to Bikram practice is that it's the chopping wood and the carrying water. It's a practice and there is no destination that we reach where we don't need to do this practice. So even if the day comes where I can do a pretty standing head to knee, I'll still go through the poses. (Note: this is tongue in cheek - I know standing head to knee is not enlightenment.)

4. try to only take class from teachers who i like. I know that all teachers have something to offer us as yogis, but OMFG there are a few annoying teachers who I have encountered in my 3+ years of yoga. If I go to a teacher I like, it helps me be in a better place mentally. I trust them to get me through class and I'm happier on the journey.

If I think of anything else, I'll definitely post about it. But yes, boredom is real. Bikram is time consuming and intense. And my dear Serena, you are definitely not alone :)

put a fork in me - i'm done

2011-07-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

I felt like I got roasted in class today. I was running late for class so I did a walk/run on the way to class, not my normal leisurely meander to class. I arrived a minute or two before the teacher locked the door. So I was a bit warmer than usual when I arrived and then the roasting began. I know it's a hot room, but OMFG it was so hot in class tonight. My old yoga studio didn't ever really get that hot - cold-ish classes were much more common than hot ones. But since switching studios last fall, my practice has gotten hotter. I spent some quality time on my mat today during class which is fine, but I prefer to be in the poses. I practiced 4 times last week and did every pose (except for maybe a camel or two) in all of those classes so my ego didn't like sitting out today. Oh well - I made it to class so that's a good thing.

this week is not my friend.

2011-07-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

Not sure what happened this week, but things got weird. I had some silly life drama this morning which left me thinking, "really? REALLY?" What's the anecdote to "REALLY?"... I think we know the answer to that - it's a little Bikram yoga. I know you're supposed to live in the moment and totally be in the room and all that, but who are we kidding? I don't know about you, but for me, on days when I'm especially up in my head, Bikram helps because it somehow clears up the cobwebs a bit. So instead of thinking about this morning with a "REALLY?", I'm just observing what happened and am trying not to react to it - kind of like how you handle difficulty in the yoga room. I know this post is a little Captain Vague and I apologize for that, but in this case, the details of my love life are a bit sad so really you're better off not knowing!
I don't think I can practice tomorrow due to scheduling issues, but hey - I'm still up to 4 classes this week which is pretty good for me. So yay on the Bikram portion of my life!

morning yoga is not my friend.

2011-07-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep this morning... so I went to yoga. At 6am. I was stiff during the warm up, felt pretty strong during the standing series and then had no energy during the floor series. That's kind of how my day went. By the end of the day at work, I was a bit of a mess. I was tired, frazzled, and felt like the day would never end. I don't think 6am yoga will be part of my normal routine!

electrolytes are your friend.

2011-07-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

I had some horrible Bikram classes over the past few weeks. The absolute worst was last Thursday. After class, my legs were cramping. I woke up in the middle of the night in pain. It was really unpleasant. My dad also gets leg cramps after exercise and his solution is a gin + tonic. Tonic water has quinine which is known to alleviate leg cramps. I consulted Dr. Google and found that there are other things to consider. In my case, I think an excessive amount of coffee and Diet Coke was causing my body to have trouble absorbing electrolytes. Since Thursday, I have significantly cut back on my caffeine consumption. I'm having iced coffee in the morning and a bit of Diet Coke every other day or so... AND I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AT YOGA! I rocked my last two classes. People were dropping like flies during Triangle in class last night, but I felt fine. I skipped yoga tonight to drink beer and eat pizza but I'm looking forward to getting back on my mat tomorrow.

worst. class. ever.

2011-06-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

Something I ate before yoga didn't agree with me and caused me to have the worst class ever. I have never wanted to leave the room as much as I did in class today. I felt nauseous and lightheaded. I sat out soooo much. It was humbling and horrible and not much fun at all.
Watching The Bachelorette and eating a light dinner seems to have pretty much cured me, but I can only hope that my next class is better...

.

2011-06-25T00:29:00.001-07:00

I miss my yoga mat. I miss a boy who isn't mine and will never be mine. I miss buying size 6 pants. I miss feeling hopeful. I miss good sandwiches.

Yeah, it's all seeming like a bit of a mess at the moment. I guess it's time for bengal tiger strength and english bulldog determination. And remembering to breathe.

Inspiration from ye olde television

2011-06-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

I struggled a bit in class yesterday. I need to get myself more organized in terms of food and hydration. It's hard to have a good class when your body feels off - hungry, stomach issues, thirsty, etc.
But what this post is really about is something I heard when I was catching up on one of my favorite tv shows on demand yesterday. 'The Deadliest Catch' is about crab fishing in Alaska. How does this relate to Bikram yoga? Well, the fishermen on the show are so tough and they just get on with things. They keep going. They battle the elements. They push themselves. On the episode I watched last night, one of the fishermen was complaining to his brother/boat captain about his leg. His brother asked him if he was hurt or injured. If he was hurt, he just needed to suck it up and keep working. If he was injured, he needed to stop working. In yoga and in life, there have been many times when I've stopped because I'm hurt, either mentally or physically... but I want to be the kind of person who only stops when I'm injured...

Self talk on the "bad" days

2011-06-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

Had a couple of not so good classes this week. During the first class, I blamed the heat which was inconsistent, the other students who seemed really unfocused, the teacher who was new to me. And yes, all of those things are true, but really it was just my body and mind on that particular day at that particular time. Then the next day, I blamed the fact that I didn't eat much since lunch, wasn't hydrated enough, had a bad class the day before. And finally I remembered that yoga is like pizza or sex - even when it's bad, it's good or at least better than nothing :)
Not going into the hot room today. Pizza is my yoga today and I'm grateful for it. nomnomnom

Yoga with yo momma

2011-06-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

Went to class with my mom today. She "needed to detoxify" :) She's one tough yogi and I hope to still be practicing when I'm her age. Our teacher was one of the studio owners and she is awesome. Overall good class. Followed by a not so good hair color appointment. I feel like I'm in a dysfunctional relationship with my hair dresser. Not fun!

I like 'mine' better than I like 'new'

2011-06-10T17:48:00.001-07:00

I am sometimes impatient with how long things take. Ok, more than sometimes - often. I'm trying to have more gratitude in my life. I struggle with feeling out of place and like I don't belong so it's important for me to look around and recognize what I have in my life. Last night I was at yoga and I finally felt at home. I felt like I was at MY yoga studio. For a long time, it felt like my new yoga studio, but now it just feels mine. I like that feeling. I'm going to take the day off from yoga tonight in order to grocery shop and cook and daydream and be out in the sunshine... but I look forward to getting back on my mat tomorrow.

Anxiety is not my friend

2011-06-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

I've been practicing about 4 times a week. That seems like the sweet spot for me right now. I'm on my mat something close to every other day. I still have time to go to shows and drink beer and eat frozen yogurt and watch tv. A daily practice doesn't work for me right now because then it seems like life is just work + yoga. Anyway, last night was a really difficult class for me. The room was packed and I was one of the last people in the room. There was a newbie in front of me and during the standing series, her mat scooted back a few inches so it was basically touching mine. I was doing all of the postures so I didn't really notice where her mat was until we got down onto the floor... and her feet were basically on my head and I started to freak out a little. Ok, more than a little. I couldn't really scoot back because there was a row of people behind me. And I couldn't seem to make eye contact with the teacher who is new and it was my first class with her. I had to wait until we got on our knees for fixed firm and I asked her to scoot her mat up. I probably seemed like the crazy yogi, but I just felt so stressed out by the situation. My studio has lots of newbies these days and while I do sometimes get frustrated with them for not knowing how things work at the studio, my experience last night was a good reminder that the yoga room can be more than uncomfortable - it can move into scary/anxiety-filled. I'm going to try to be more kind to myself and more kind to my fellow yogis in the future.

So hot.

2011-05-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

Interesting class tonight. It was really hot. I know that it's Bikram yoga so it's always hot, but sometimes it's particularly hot. Tonight was one of those nights. I kicked out farther in standing head to knee than I ever have. It was a pretty incredible feeling. I am still a million miles away from actually putting my forehead on my knee (and my chest gets in the way) but such is life.
After class, I was chatting with the instructor. He told me "good class" or something like that. I felt like I had the yoga glow radiating from me, but my brain wasn't really working yet... so I mumbled something like "but it was really hot." He said, "It's always hot. You know what it means if you say that class is hot, it means that you're hot!" This could have sounded sort of skeezy coming from someone else, but from this instructor, it was just all in good fun and it cracked me up! I walked home from the studio (and stopped for my usual take out) with a smile on my face!

So I've been thinking...

2011-05-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here on the couch, window open, sunshine streaming in, sounds of birds and cars and people outside. It ain't bad. Really. And I've been thinking about my life in general. I imagined winning the lottery. What would I do? And to be honest, I would keep most things the same. I currently have the resources to pursue what I want to pursue in my spare time and that is definitely a blessing. It's a blessing I don't always recognize, but right now, in this moment, I recognize it. And one of the things I want to do is be a yogi. I'm off to class in a few minutes and I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Trying to bring my yoga into the rest of my life

2011-05-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

I've had some good yoga classes this week. And I'm really loving being in the yoga room. That 90 minutes of being away from everything, of only having the yoga to focus on. I struggle a lot with what I "should" be doing in my real life. I have a hard time getting away from technology and really disconnecting. Yoga is basically the only place I can do that right now, but I want to work on bringing that to the rest of my life. I want to have more focus and less distractions.

Bikram Mothers Day

2011-05-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Practiced with my mom this morning. Had a good class - it went by quickly and I felt pretty good except for some tightness in my shoulders. Have been catching up on my yoga blog reading and it's given me a lot to think about. More thoughtful post coming later...

Left it all on my mat

2011-05-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

I barely made it to class today. It was one of those days where I was planning to go an afternoon class, but then I took a nap and came so close to talking myself out of it. I was slightly hungover today and had cramps. I know - boo hoo, definitely privileged white girl problems! But I'm so glad I went to class. I wasn't as hydrated as I should have been but when I get out of the routine of practicing daily or almost daily, I forget how much I need the 90 minutes of vacation of a Bikram yoga class. Yes, I'm joking in a way because class can be hard and challenging in a mental and physical way, but I so need 90 minutes away from my phone and technology and multi-tasking and thinking about what I "should" be doing. I wasn't the same person when I left the studio as I was when I walked in.
In other news, I can't seem to find the "good" coconut water in my neighborhood anymore. Anyone have thoughts on other post-class beverages? Is coconut water really all that? I've started drinking a mini can of Coke after getting home from class. I know the corn syrup isn't great, but it's a heck of a lot cheaper than coconut water and it is the best can of Coke you will ever have in your life! Am I the only one who thinks food tastes better after Bikram?
Ok, enough rambling for tonight...

Bikram sweet Bikram

2011-03-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

Had one of those classes tonight where I just wanted to stay in the yoga room forever. This is both a testament to how good class was and how much I wanted to hide out and avoid the real world! But really, class was good.
This the 3rd class I've attended this week. Not great, but much much better than how much I've been practicing for the rest of 2011. Although I now live much closer to a Bikram studio, this studio has less classes than the studio I used to practice at and they don't work so well with my work schedule... but the exciting news is that the studio is going to be remodeled in April AND they're adding classes. YAY YAY YAY! I look forward to ramping up my practice mid-April once the remodel is complete.

2011 has not been my year of yoga

2011-03-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've only done a handful of Bikram classes this year. I practiced this morning and it was one of those wretched classes, one of those embarrassing classes. There was a first timer in class who did more poses than me. I felt hot, I felt sweaty, I felt like I was going to pass out, I had a weird twinge in my knee... and I sat out some postures. I can look at this class is a couple of different ways - 1. I'm not meant to do Bikram yoga. 2. I should get back on my mat as soon as possible.
I love the Bikram but I'm not sure it fits into my life right now. We shall see...

Back on my mat...

2011-01-17T22:14:00.000-08:00

Practiced yesterday. Practiced today. It wasn't pretty, I spent some quality time on my mat, I had random aches and pains today but overall, it's a good thing.
There have been some changes since my last post. New job. New apartment. New yoga studio. There are some things I'm still searching for, but we all know the yoga helps keep us grounded. That's why I'm getting back on my mat. I don't have as much time to get into trouble if I'm practicing yoga regularly. I don't have as much time to be bored and angsty. Food tastes better. I sleep better. My skin looks amazing.
Hello yoga and yoga friends - I've missed you!
xoxo
A.

bikram. torture. chamber.

2010-09-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

OMG it felt like a torture chamber in the yoga room today. Hot, humid, crowded. Was not appreciating the teacher or the group energy. My knee was hurting during class (but luckily feels better after.) It was just ugh mixed with yuck mixed with angst. But you know what? It passed. When I got into the changing room, I had a text message from a friend asking me to meet up for a drink. I called her and said that I needed food way more than I needed a drink so we met up to chow on Chipotle. We laughed and laughed and ate and laughed and it was just what I needed. Yay for yoga and friends!

When things fall apart...

2010-09-25T20:32:00.001-07:00

My yoga practice has gotten sporadic. I got back on my mat today and it was quite possibly my worst ever class. But I think that also makes it my best ever class. I felt AWFUL. There are some classes that feel like exercise or a work out of some sort - classes where you feel like you're stretching and strengthening and working your physical body. This was not one of those classes. The stress and angst of the past few weeks just seemed to be bubbling to the surface, making me hot, tired, dizzy, weak. I had no choice but to deal with the discomfort for 90 minutes... and then it passed. I picked up a book today called "When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by an American Buddhist nun named Pema Chodron. Just like Bikram, she recommends embracing the difficult times. I think my Bikram practice will be a great complement to this reading on Buddhism.

Yoga semi-hiatus

2010-08-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

Due to half-marathon training, work, being sick, etc., my Bikram practice isn't really happening at the moment. But there are a few other yoga related things going on.

1. The documentary "Enlighten Up" is on Netflix Watch Instantly. I'm really not sure what the filmmaker was trying to do with this film. On the one hand, I felt like she was trying to push her own yoga experience on to the yoga noob she focuses on in the film. On the other hand, I felt like she was trying to expose "western" yoga as not being "real" yoga. That's a bit of a touchy subject for me since I'm a Bikram yogini and Bikram talks about how his series is made for western people --- and it totally works for me! Kind of glad I didn't go see the film in the theater because I think it would have annoyed me even more if I had paid $10 to see it!

2. I'm in the very baby planning stages of a possibly trip to SE Asia this fall... Still very early - not sure if it can/will happen due to work/life, but I would love to go and practice possibly in Phuket and maybe Kuala Lumpur. Still lots to figure out logistically but it might work...

Sober sister

2010-07-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

Went to class after work today. My friend J. from knitting who went to her first class on 4th of July came as well! I'm so proud of her!!! Two classes under her belt! And she likes it :)
It was definitely a hot class today. I felt better than usual at the beginning of class because this was my 3rd day in a row practicing and because the heat made me feel looser at the beginning of class.
I've quit online dating and I'm trying to drink less so being on my mat for 90 minutes a day gives me something to do where I'm away from the temptations of friends and bars and thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about. One of my college friends called me tonight and she is also trying to get on the clean living train. In our sorority in college, we had to have "sober sisters" at some of our events - girls who weren't drinking. I said that I'm finding it hard to be a sober sister these days - she feels the same way. We're going to meet up for Diet Cokes and maybe a walk around Greenlake later this week. CHANGE IS HARD!

Back home

2010-07-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Practiced again today. That makes 3 times in the last week which is the most I've practiced in a while. And I'm planning to practice tomorrow after work. My mat is starting to feel like "home" again. I like that feeling.
Class today was a hot one. Everyone was feeling it. My pal M. at ilovesweat posted today about how he pushes himself through postures even when he's feeling kind of meh. While I totally get that and I think it's appropriate some days, there is something else that I've been thinking about lately. My favorite teacher said something interesting in class a few weeks ago. She said that we should lie down when we need to and that she doesn't want to see us get up until we're ready to be practicing again. Basically if we're doing the posture, she wants us to really be doing the posture and be happy about doing the posture. She said if we're not ready to fully participate, then it's ok to lie down until we feel ready. It's an interesting way to think about it. You can be tired and sweaty and hot... and happy to be practicing! Or you can hang out on your mat in savasana until you're ready to be. I'm working on mindfulness and positive mental attitude and all of that good stuff - I even have power thought cards in my bag so this way to think about class and the postures was interesting for me.
Is it ever too hot to go in the hot room? We've got 90 degree temperatures coming this way. I realize that in most of America (or possibly the world), that would not be a big deal, but here in Seattle, it's news.. FRONT PAGE NEWS! We shall see how the week progresses :)
Oh and I got a super cute new water bottle today. TIE DYE! And it has a straw. I'm apparently too much of a klutz to use my Klean Kanteen in class - I can't open the damn thing after my hands get sweaty. Straw FTW!

Holiday yoga

2010-07-04T19:24:00.000-07:00

It was hot and crowded at class today. There were 6 new people and one of them was my friend J. from knitting. She did fantastic! She did most of the poses and I think we're still friends :) She said she wants to come back in a day or two.
After class, I went to a friend's house for a bbq. Unfortunately we ended up inside for most of the afternoon due to rain. Fortunately there was a boozy strawberry trifle to eat. However now I have a headache and am probably going to hide out and be a hermit for the rest of the evening.
No work tomorrow so I should be able to find some time for Bikram.

Ups and downs

2010-07-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

Life has been up and down lately. My yoga practice has been very occasional - maybe once or twice a week. Practiced last night and I could definitely tell that I had been out of the room for a while. I've been thinking about why I've been struggling to get on my mat. It has partly been a time issue - I would rather do things other than go to yoga before or after work. But it's also a nutrition issue I think. During my attempt at Bikram101, I got really run down and was cramping a lot. I don't cook that much and really don't eat that healthy. While I complain about the extra pounds I've packed on over the last few years, considering how much junk food I eat, I'm actually somewhat surprised that I'm not bigger. Doing lots of Bikram yoga tends to make me want savory, salty, crazy junk food even more. If I want to have a regular yoga practice, I need to focus on getting more healthy, real food into my diet. And maybe in the short term, protein shakes or Gatorade. I need to take better care of my body if I want my body to be able to do 90 minutes in the hot room on a daily or almost daily basis. Oh and I'm starting my half marathon training soon so that's another thing on my plate. But I'm excited about it and want to monitor my progress here on a more regular basis. I miss this blog and the Bikram blog/Twitter community!

Struggles on the mat and off the mat

2010-05-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I practiced twice this week. Both times I struggled. My balance seemed to be nonexistent. I had eaten either too much or too little before class. But still it was good to practice this yoga. While lots of the other Bikram yoga bloggers have plans to become professional Bikram yogis, for me, this is just a practice. Just a way of clearing my mind - a natural high of sorts. I need to make time for myself and my practice. It's easy to get distracted by dates and friends and plans, but if I don't make time for me, I'm not good at those other things.
So again, I vow to recommit to my yoga.

Stomachache yoga

2010-04-27T23:08:00.001-07:00

I know I'm not the only one who has ever tried to power through Bikram class with a stomachache - I think The Missus has posted about it in the past. But it's one of those weird things where the standing series can sort of be handled but then the floor just gets terrible!!! So during the time when I was hanging out on my mat, wishing for class to be over, I thought about how the teacher was annoying me. She was talking too much - so many words and words and more words! Then she told the class not to drink water during postures... even though she proceeded to drink water while we were in savasana. She also filled up her water bottle while we were in savasana. I think that is just bad form. Maybe I'm becoming the next Mary Jarvis, but I think that teachers shouldn't drink much (or at all) during class. WHEN I SEE THE TEACHER DRINKING WATER, IT MAKES ME WANT TO DRINK WATER! I know water isn't going to save me, but there is definitely a power of suggestion kind of thing that goes on in class. It's like when one of the teachers was preggo. We saw a pregnant lady doing FINE in class or teaching class and it made the rest of us suck it up!
Additional yoga related deep thoughts that I had today - I still think that my studio is kinda unfriendly but I was feeling the love more today than ever before. One teacher and two students said hi and asked where I had been! And one of the "regulars" deemed me worthy of a chat in the line for the bathroom. There are some incredibly hard core regulars and they scare me a little!
Ok, enough yoga rambling...

Flailing a bit...

2010-04-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

For a couple of months, my yoga mat was my anchor. Now I'm drifting around. Have done some Crossfit, have done some dating, did two Bikram classes over the weekend. Trying to figure out what I "should" be doing as well as what I want to be doing. One good thing is that the crowds seem to have dropped off at ye olde Bikram studio so it's not as crazy crowded as it was earlier in the year. Still miss my old favorite teacher who lives in New Zealand now. Have been following thedancingj's experience at Bikram Teacher Training. Her love of the yoga makes me want to get back in touch with my love of the yoga!
Planning to get back on my mat after work today!

Tripping and totally biting it while crossing the street is my yoga.

2010-03-31T16:39:00.000-07:00

It's funny how even though I'm not on my mat for 90 minutes a day, I still feel busy, I still feel like I don't have enough time. Not sure what "enough" time would be but I guess that's another question for another day...
I had been off my mat for a full week when I finally went to class on Sunday. It was not a "good" class except in the sense that every class one attends is a good class because you're doing the 26 postures. I've been working through some mental stuff lately. I was definitely in a mood on Sunday and couldn't think of anything that would help me get out of my mental rut better than Bikram. It didn't totally deliver but I suppose it didn't hurt.
Right on the heels of my nasty mood on Sunday came some physical pain on Monday morning. I got off the bus at my normal bus stop. I have to cross a fairly large, but generally uncrowded road on my way to work. I often jaywalk. I know that isn't a good thing and trust me, I've now experienced karmic retribution for it. I started jaywalking and then was startled to hear a car come up behind me. The car was taking a right on red and I was totally safe... but when I turned back to look at the car, my messenger bag sort of shifted and my foot hit an uneven part in the pavement... and I took a tumble. Somehow managed to not rip any clothing, but scraped and bruised my left knee and elbow. I was super embarrassed and there were a couple of other pedestrians who saw me.
In spite of having wounded pride, I sort of had to laugh at the situation. Here I was - coming off of the crappiest mood I had been in for months and I had just totally bit it. It shook me up just enough to get me out of my bad mood. That's what the yoga does for me a lot of the time - provides something physical, something humbling, something ELSE to think about. I turned the corner as quickly as I could just to get away from the people who had seen me fall and I bought myself a latte. The scrape on my elbow was bleeding a bit and my knee was swelling a bit but I confirmed that I was mostly in one piece and I wasn't as upset at the whole situation (and myself) as I could have been.
I felt a little fragile the rest of Monday and decided to go to yoga to prevent myself from getting too stiff after my fall. Certain parts of the floor series were pretty painful on my bruised knee. I've put myself on the injured reserve list for the next couple of days in order to get back into tip top shape.
Hoping that the yoga (and life) has been going well for the rest of you!

Hi yogis!

2010-03-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to those of you who have left me comments wondering if I'm ok. Yes, I'm fine! Just needed a break from yoga and yoga blogging. Apparently 54 classes in 60 days is officially TOO MUCH for me! You know how your teachers sometimes say stuff like you need to find the place between too much and not enough? Well, apparently I found out where too much is for me!
I've been practicing occasionally (once or twice a week), hanging out with friends, went to my first Crossfit class yesterday and I can barely walk or move today, joined eHarmony... so life soldiers on.
I appreciate all of your support during my Bikram 101 attempt! It's been long enough that I think it's time for a little post-morten. Where did it all go wrong?!? I really struggled with the time it took to practice. Due to the logistics of getting to the studio by car or bus, the crowds at my studio during the first few months of the year, etc. a 90 minute class was more like 2.5 hours when it's all said and done. I don't think I was eating well enough - I have a Liz Lemon-esque love of junk food - and I think I had an electrolyte imbalance the last week or two that I was practicing. I just started for feel really run down and also like I had no time to do anything but work, laundry and yoga. That being said, I still LOVE the yoga and wish I had been able to see it through.
Expect to see me back here on a regular basis talking about life and yoga...
Namaste.
A.

Seem to have lost forward momentum...

2010-03-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

Have spent the last two days off my mat. That's the longest I've gone without yoga in 2010... but I can't say that it's been bad. I think my electrolytes were off for the past week or two so it's been nice to recover a bit. Also it's been fun to be out and about and be more social. But I'm planning to practice tonight. Need to find the place between too much and not enough...

Did I skip yoga for this?

2010-03-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

Long ago, there was a country album called "Did I Shave My Legs for This?" That's pretty much how I felt about my date last night except substitute "skip yoga" for "shave my legs." Now maybe I should take some of the blame. Did I actually tell my friend specifically that I want to date a straight guy? Maybe I wasn't that specific... but yeah, think the dude is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that - I just don't want to date a gay guy.
So yeah, skipped yoga for that.
#regret :)

no yoga this morning

2010-03-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

One of my college friends called me last night at 10pm and we ended up talking until 11pm. I have a blind date after work. Ergo, no Bikram today.

-6.

Ugh.

But in other news, it was so good to talk to my friend and we're going to go out for drinks on Thursday night.

Class 53 + Class 54 + nip it in the bud, bud

2010-02-28T16:22:00.000-08:00

Did Class 53 first thing yesterday morning. The wonderful Jenn was teaching and the room was pleasantly hot and overall it was a pretty great class. Yay for that! I think I needed a little break from my regular studio so all 3 of my classes this weekend were done at the "other" studio. I had rad instructors for all three classes and I was feeling good so I was a very happy yogi! My teacher today was a new to me guy teacher. He started off class by saying that his new Speedo is really small and he hoped we wouldn't be too distracted by it! TOO FUNNY! He added in quite a few funny little comments. One of them was about falling into bad habits in the postures and he said that the thing to do is just nip it in the bud, bud. Ok, not a super hilarious joke, but almost anything is funny in the yoga room if you're used to taking class from SternYogi and friends. I want to take more classes from this guy even though the studio he usually teaches at doesn't have showers and it's hard to find parking nearby.
For those of you keeping track at home, today is day 59. That means we've only got one more day of yucky emotional yoga. I for one am looking forward to moving on to day 60-90. What happens then? Well, according to Mary Jarvis, "Day 60 -90, your body shape seems to suddenly change at an exponential rate, though you may not notice. These are the days when you start to hear all the “Wow, you look great! What are you doing?” comments. These 30 days are usually your best 30 days." AWESOME! Read more here... http://www.globalyoga.biz/100_Yoga_Days.html

Class 51 + Class 52 + maybe Mary Jarvis was right about the emotional thing...

2010-02-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

Didn't practice on Wednesday due to margaritas with a friend. We had a great conversation and it was just what I needed. I'm thankful for the interesting people I've met over the past few years. I still consider the people I've met since moving back here after grad school my "new" friends even though some of them I've now known for almost 4 years. I guess margaritas were my yoga on Wednesday!
I did class 51 before work yesterday. It was sooo tough. I felt incredibly stiff and I attributed that to the fact that it was 6am. I just felt like i couldn't relax into the postures - everything was tough. I laid down on my mat at one point not because I was tired but because I was frustrated. I was started to think that this whole challenge is futile...
And then I went to class tonight at a different studio with one of my favorite teachers. IT WAS SO GOOD! I've never gone back that far in half moon backwards, I did everything including toe stand, I was able to get my butt down in fixed firm... IT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT BECAUSE IT WAS HOT! If I needed proof of the power of the heat, I have it now! I think the heat must be fucked up at my home studio. Looks like I'll be practicing elsewhere this weekend.
In other news, the past few weeks have been really emotional for me. I think I'm mostly just posted about my frustration here and the more negative stuff... but if I look back at the past month or so, I can see a real difference in my emotions. I went through a really hard time personally and professionally over the past few years and I was totally "that girl" for a while - the one who would cry all the time. I feel sorry for my friends because I was not much fun to hang out with for quite some time... then after that, for the past year or so, I just got kind of numb. I didn't cry all the time, but I wasn't feeling much. I feel like over the past few weeks, I've started feeling things more. I'm starting to make sense of things that have and haven't happened for me. I'm starting to love music again. I almost cried when I was listening to the Owl City album the other day and it's just a bunch of autotuned Postal Service-esque crap. I know that I've been saying for a while that I'm ready to make changes and move on and get out of my rut and have fun again... but it's gotta be real this time or else I'm going to have to really lower my expectations for life!
I know I'm babbling... this is the emotional stuff I was talking about! If today is class 52 and I'm 5 classes behind, then day 60 is coming up soon. I'm ready to move on from this emotional stuff and move on to whatever else Mary Jarvis says is coming up...

Class 50 + not quitting but not totally committed to another 50...

2010-02-23T22:11:00.000-08:00

CLASS 50! Went to the class right after work which as per usual was crowded and kind of a clusterfuck. But who cares?!? IT'S CLASS 50!!!!
I'm going to take the day off tomorrow in order to meet up with one of my pals after work, but I will get back on my mat the next day. And the day after. I just can't commit to every day.
I'm not quitting but I'm not quite doing the challenge either. I guess that sort of is quitting but what I mean is that my goal is still a daily practice - I'm just not going to prioritize that over the rest of my life. So I'm thinking 5-6 classes a week is where I'll land. That would put me somewhere around 82-89 classes in the 101 days. No, it's not 101, but I feel like I could still hold my head up high with a number like that.
So that's the new plan. BIKRAM 89 FTW!

Class 49 + maybe it was the class I needed to have

2010-02-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

Wanted to get up and go to 6am yoga this morning, but I didn't sleep well last night so it just wasn't happening. Ended up at the class right after work which tends to be a clusterfuck these days. It came through in that department tonight. There were 50+ people there. As I laid down on my mat a few minutes before the start of class, the room felt strange. Oh yeah, that would be because the room wasn't actually hot. When the door opened as people came into the room, the breeze felt cold and not in a good way. I'm not sure if the teacher didn't notice that it was cold or if the heater isn't working well, but either way, by the end of class it was humid but never got to the kind of heat us Bikram yogis know and love. I was talking about it with some regulars after class. One woman pointed to the top of my head and mentioned how my hair was still dry! My bendyness was severely hampered by the cold. Even in camel, I didn't feel warmed up. I sat out some postures, I daydreamed, I anticipated postures and thought about life outside the room - I did all of the things you're not supposed to do! But physically it was an "easy" class because I just wasn't pushing and stressing and sweating it out. It wasn't a fun class either, but maybe it was the class I needed today.

Class 48 + i am in a MOOD

2010-02-21T18:54:00.000-08:00

Did class 48 tonight. Jenn was teaching. I heart Jenn. First half of the class was fine - Jenn made some jokes, I did everything except toe stand due to my jacked up knee - second set of tree instead, everything was a-ok. Then the floor just sucked ass. I basically lost all focus - Jenn had to talk me into a second set of camel. After class I went to the natural grocery store near the yoga studio. I hate that place. Every time I go there, I get annoyed by the other customers and the staff. Tonight was especially bad because I saw one of my ex's best friends. I was already in a bit of a mood from yoga and seeing her just pushed me over the edge into being in even more of a mood. I know that there are 12 people in Seattle and I know that I could have just as easily run into someone I know and like, but that did not help my mood.
I'm pretty much over this yoga challenge. I know that Mary Jarvis says that this is the mental part of days 30-60, but how do I know that it's just that?!? I'm starting to wonder if I should be getting back to my real life. I don't have a lot going on these days besides yoga and work... During the week, I'm busy enough, I'm tired enough to fall asleep at the end of the day, I don't really have to think about my lack of big picture career focus, my lack of a life partner, my lack of kids, pets, mortgage, etc. My work BFF gave me a talking to the other day. It was some stuff I didn't want to hear but probably needed to hear. Yes, a 101 day yoga challenge is a great thing to do but not if I'm hiding out in said yoga challenge and avoiding things like dating and having a social life. Not sure whether it's more brave to try to tough it out through the next 50-ish days of this challenge or whether it's more brave to walk away from the challenge and try to get some balance back in my real life...
Sorry to be all doom and gloom about Bikram101 in this post. I appreciate all of your comments here and all of the support I've gotten on Twitter from my fellow yogamaniacs! You guys and girls are awesome and I never would have gotten this far without you!!!

Class 47 + thank goddess for organic chocolate milk

2010-02-20T22:35:00.001-08:00

Last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, my calves started cramping. It was painful like whoa. I went to the kitchen and due to the lack of coconut water, I grabbed some organic chocolate milk. It was quite yum and seemed to make the cramps go away. Fast forward to this morning... I slept in until 9:30 which is super late for me. I felt like crap when I woke up. I had little to no energy. I remembered sneezing at my desk at work yesterday. I started to wonder whether I'm getting sick, but I hauled my sorry ass out of bed anyway. Clearly it was too late to make it to 8am or 10am yoga and noon yoga was out due to a prior commitment so my only option was 5pm class...

And I would just like to state for the record that I f-ing hate Saturday 5pm yoga. It's depressing and tends to bring out the weirdos. The girl next to me kept making noises. At first I thought she sounded like she was going to throw up. Then it sounded like she was crying. Then it sounded like she was having an orgasm. She rounded out her performance by sounding like she was having an asthma attack. Awesome.

My own performance is class was nothing to brag about but I don't think it was super disruptive. I sat out some postures because I was oh so tired. Basically I was not a happy camper!

So yes, I continue to struggle with my practice. Or am I struggling with the mental aspects? I'm not sure. I will ponder that while I listen to the Cold War Kids, quilt, eat tortilla chips and drink chocolate milk.

Class 46 + maybe I'm ready to get back to the real world...

2010-02-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

Class 46 was crazy intense. It was hot hot hot. First timers were hating life - the teacher let one of them leave the room. Someone else was freaking out and the teacher left the room to grab a vitamin water for her. My own practice was filled with highs and lows. The uber-heat made me feel more flexible than usual and I feel like I'm finally seeing some improvement in some postures - half moon backwards, balancing stick, final stretching.
From a physical perspective, I like practicing daily, but the routine of a daily practice is killing me. @ilovesweat likes to joke that his life is bikram laundry tanning. Substitute work for tanning (and add in a splash of junk food) and that's pretty much my life right now. Compared to a lot of the hardcore Bikramites doing this challenge, I'm a baby yogi. I generally see Bikram yoga as something that helps me with the rest of my life, but right now the rest of my life seems to be shrinking away and it's bumming me out.
I miss my friends. I miss tv. I miss my craft projects. I miss trying to play chords on my guitar.
I love the yoga but unless I can get myself to 6am yoga regularly during the week, I'm not really seeing how I'm going to make it to 101! Evening classes suck up too much of my time!
So I guess the plan is to practice in the morning, bribe myself with some new yoga clothes from Lululemon and buy a case of Zico.

Class #44 and Class #45 + trying to get focused...

2010-02-18T08:30:00.001-08:00

I practiced last night after work. It was one of my least preferred teachers. She seemed totally spacey last night. It was crowded, lots of new people and lots of people left the room. After class, lots of people were complaining about the "bad energy" in the room. It was one of those classes that made me think that I need to stop practicing at the class right after work. It's so crowded that you have to push through people to find room to put your stuff down in the locker room, you wait in line for the bathroom, wait in line for water, try to strategize to get a spot in the room that doesn't suck... basically by the time class even starts, you've already done too much "work"!
Fast forward to 6am this morning... except for the part where there was frost on my car which I had to scrape - guess it is still February - there were no hassles at yoga. Yeah, I was tired and still and joked with the teacher that I had to keep telling myself to gambatte (Japanese for persverance/guts) but I didn't have to deal with any of the pre-class aggravation. Yes, I'm trying to sell the class to myself, too - getting up at 5:30am doesn't come so naturally to me!
As we get really really close to the halfway point of this challenge, I'm in awe of what we're doing... yet there is part of me that wonders whether I've learned enough from this. Is it time to do those other things I want to do or to tough this out for the next 52 days?
This might just be tiredness and hunger talking right now so don't take my talk of quitting too seriously :)

Class 43

2010-02-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

Did not enjoy Class 43. Went to the late class. Didn't want to be there. Never really got into the groove of class, but when I woke up this morning, I felt really good. I guess that's one thing to keep in mind - even when class isn't great, you're still getting the benefits of the yoga.

Class 42 + if you're going to practice this yoga...

2010-02-15T22:13:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Bad class today. I arrived at the studio super early because I drove to work instead of taking the bus due to free street parking near by office because of the "holiday." I say "holiday" because obviously I didn't have the day off! So after getting changed and putting my mat down, I had about 22 minutes to kill. UGH! Practiced near Jenn who as we all know is a kick ass yogi. I am inspired by her strength and focus. As I was fidgeting with my pigtails, shirt, etc., she was just looking into her own eyes. Jenn for the win! And yes, I would like to note that I have been called out by both Jenn and Robert, another teacher, for fixing my hair between postures. Need to work on that :)
Today's class was so bad that I was forced to remind myself of what my running trainer used to say. As long as there are good runs (or in this case, classes) in recent memory, there is no need to worry! Also the teacher I had today for class (who is one of my favorites) said that in order to do this yoga for months or years, we have to be ok with ourselves. (I'm paraphrasing here so no exact quotes.) Our body isn't going to be the same every class so in order to do the yoga, we have to accept what we can do this day, in this class. It was something I really needed to hear as I was struggling in class. I think it was a combination of my routine being off (arriving too early) and the fact that I was stiff from not practicing yesterday. Here's to hoping for a better class tomorrow!

Class __ - le sigh

2010-02-15T07:21:00.000-08:00

Didn't practice yesterday. Can make excuses galore - it was some stupid holiday, I drank a beer at brunch with friends, my shoulder felt funny...
I just lost my focus for a day. My mind was all over the place.
Worst enemy? I am her.

Class 41 + getting acclimated

2010-02-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

Did Class #41 this afternoon. It was more crowded than I thought it would be, but I managed to stake out a decent spot in the corner of the room. Had a lot on my mind and as per usual, my right knee started hating life in camel, so I chilled on my mat for a few minutes. Got some good thinking done in class. The room did seem pretty hot today - 3 or 4 people left the room during class. It's one of those unfortunate things where once 1 person leave, others tend to follow... but if no one leaves, then leaving doesn't seem like an option. However on days when I'm near the door, I'm ok with people leaving because it means breeze sweet breeze! I'm finding that even when the room is hot and other people around me are suffering, I'm doing better than I used to. I think that's what a daily practice will do for you. Even when class has felt tough, I feel like I get my energy back during the final breathing and I don't take a very long savasana at the end of class. I'VE GOT ENERGY! I think it's great to take a long final savasana when that feels like a good thing to do, but I don't believe in forcing myself to lie there when I'm feeling peppy! That's what happened tonight at class. Class wasn't easy, but I felt like hopping up and getting on with my day once the teacher left the room. I went in to the locker room and was surprised to see only a couple of people in there! I feel like my body (and mind to a certain degree) are definitely getting stronger :)

Apparently I can't count...

2010-02-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I did class #39 this morning and class #40 after work even though the previous post says it was #40! I blame yoga brain :) The real class #40 rocked!!! It was the best class I've had in so long! Practiced at the studio up north with one of my favorite teachers. The air always seems fresher up there. It's a much newer studio than my normal one and they seem to keep it cleaner. But back to me - I rocked it! Did every posture except toe stand (2nd set of tree instead due to my right knee still being the tiniest bit tender) and felt so good! I had energy! It was great - I'm on a yoga high right now :)

I was next to a first timer at class tonight. My heart went out to her - she was suffering! She tried to get up and leave the room after rabbit, but the teacher talked her back to her mat. Have I posted about my first class here? I don't think so. My first class was a few days before Christmas, December 2007. I had recently broken up with the person I considered the love of my life. Or rather he had broken up with me. Anyway, I read in some dumb article on a blog or something that after a breakup, you should accept any invitation to anything. I sort of operate this way anyway, but right after my breakup, I said yes to everything. I went to figure drawing (!) with a friend from work and Bikram yoga (!!!!!) with one of my sorority sisters from college. I've never been back to figure drawing - I think I lack the maturity (and art skills) to draw nude models. But I got hooked on the Bikram yoga even though my first class was hellish. I thought it would never be over. The ~25 minutes of "warm up" nearly killed me. There was no clock and I had no idea how much time had passed. I didn't understand how other people were still standing up and doing postures because I was flat on my mat. I thought water would save me but as we all know now, drinking water doesn't help that much! Basically the class was hard and stressful and more challenging than almost anything I had done in my life... but I felt so amazing after class. I wanted more. I wanted to figure out how to do this yoga and how to make it through this class! I didn't start practicing regularly right away because I was training for a half marathon. In April 2008, after the race, I started practicing more regularly and the rest is history :)

Class #40 + "it's a practice, not a demonstration"

2010-02-12T09:10:00.001-08:00

Did Class 40 at 6am this morning before work. There were quite a few things I liked about practicing that early - the locker room isn't crowded, no line for the bathroom or to fill up my water bottle, plenty of space in the yoga room. But there were also some down sides - it's hard to get out of bed at 5:20am, I felt so stiff and not bendy. But I'm glad I went because I need to catch up - hate being 4 days behind. So the plan is still to hit another class after work.

Yesterday SternYogi was teaching and she said something that really resonated with me. She said not to worry so much about what our postures look like because "it's a practice, not a demonstration." Definitely a good thing to remember especially for those of us who want to have amazing postures, but don't.

Class 37 + 38 + best blog post ever + mental toughness

2010-02-11T22:20:00.000-08:00

First of all, I feel like it is my duty to point you in the direction of a post on the Bikram 101 blog. It's called "All I Really Need to Know" and it talks about how you learn everything you really need to know for life in Bikram yoga. It's a wonderfully written post. I printed it out and taped it to my cube wall at work. My favorite part isPretend you're a camel, an airplane, a cobra & a flower." Such a fantastic post!

Last night was Class 37 and tonight was Class 38. Tonight didn't feel that hot to me - I didn't feel bendy at all. Not sure if the temperature actually had anything to do with it or if I was just stiff. Class last night was quite hellish. It was HOTT and my mind was all over the place. Then my foot started cramping in Cobra pose. Later after I got home, my calf was cramping. If I was able to take days off, this would be no biggie, but since I'm practicing every day, I want to take care of myself as much as possible. I had coconut water, Emergen-c and a banana today and was fine at class tonight. Speaking of the benefits of this challenge, realizing that I need to take better care of myself and just get my shit together has probably been the biggest one for me. The last two or so years have been the hardest years of my life by far. I've let certain things slide because of that and now I just want to get my life in order. It's time to lose some weight, start eating healthier, return my library books on time, write thank you cards to people who gave me birthday gifts, IT'S JUST TIME. Time to pay off my student loans, aggressively contribute to my 401k. No one's coming to save me. If I can dedicate myself to this yoga, I can dedicate myself to all of this other life messiness and get it under control. Time to stop treading water.

I'm still 4 classes behind, but I'm planning to do a 6am class tomorrow before work and a class after work as well. The "other" studio (the one I don't normally practice at) has a pay what you can class on Friday evenings so I can practice there (yay for a different yoga room and a rad teacher!) without paying $17 for a drop in class. So it seems like the right day to do a double even though doubles still scare me a little! I'm drinking water and a chocolate milk right now and I'm going to try to get to bed in a few minutes so I'll be ready to be on my mat again in less than 8 hours.

Magic

2010-02-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

Meant to post about this before but I forgot...

The other day in class, my teacher talked about how she used to have magical powers. She had a baby a few months back and she said that when she was pregnant, NO ONE left the room. Everyone saw her handling the heat just fine and it made them think that they could do it, too. She said that now she has lost her magical powers since she's not pregnant anymore. Now people get freaked out by the heat and leave the room. I think this is a great example of the power of the mind. Going to go into class tonight with a better attitude and a (metaphorical) can of mental toughness... :)

Class 35 & 36 + Mary Jarvis wasn't kidding!

2010-02-09T23:37:00.000-08:00

Did class 35 last night before knitting. I wasn't happy to be there. I wanted to be at knitting - I wanted my normal Monday night routine back! I just figured out that Monday night knitting has been in my life for almost 4 years. Even when I was working out with my running trainer, Mondays were an automatic day off because my trainer knew that I had knitting. Bikram101 doesn't believe in taking Mondays off for knitting. Definitely struggled with some mental stuff, but it was a nice hot class (vs. a terrible hot class which happens sometimes!) and one of my favorites was teaching so there were a few positive parts as well.

Tonight was another story. Class 36 felt like torture. It was mental torture though, not physical. My knee is still bugging me but just a little bit. It was my mind that would not cooperate tonight. I fidgeted, I laid down on my mat, I fidgeted while on my mat, I wanted to close my eyes... basically I just couldn't surrender to the yoga - I couldn't accept that I was going to be stuck in the room for 90 minutes. Famous yogi Mary Jarvis says that the second 30 days is for dealing with the mental stuff and I'm right in the thick of that apparently! Should be a fun couple of weeks :)

Class 34 - OFFICIALLY 1/3 TO 101!!!

2010-02-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

It was a good sweaty class with one of my favorite teachers today. My knee felt much better. I did both sets of standing bow and 1 set of triangle. This is a significant improvement over the past few days so that's a relief. And my floor bow felt great. Yay for class - not much to complain about today :)

Class 33 + almost 1/3...

2010-02-07T08:23:00.000-08:00

Since I'm 4 days behind on this challenge, I haven't reached the 1/3 mark yet even though lots of my Bikram101 pals have. According to my calculations, when I'm about 60 minutes into class today, I will be 1/3 of the way to 101. YAY! But at the same time, there is a long way to go. Going to try to get a double in at some point during the week or next weekend if my knee improves.

Class 33 yesterday had kind of a crazy vibe. It was quite hot in the room and more crowded than I thought it would be. There were tons of noobs and a TON of people left the room. I have NEVER seen that many people leave the room ever. I felt bad for the instructor because she is one of the newer, younger teachers (but I think she is fantastic) and one of the owners of the studio happened to be practicing yesterday. Basically there were lots of people hating life yesterday, but except for my right knee still feeling tender, I was surviving fine. The instructor adjusted my shoulder position on spine twist and now I feel like I have a much better idea of what that pose is supposed to feel like.

Class 32... so how many is that to go?

2010-02-05T23:45:00.000-08:00

I made the questionable decision to show my work BFF one of my blog posts from a while back. He made a comment today about how racy my blog is. I think he's totally wrong, but in case you're reading this G. - here's more of me attempting to spice up my yoga blog...

32 CLASSES DOWN, 69 TO GO!!!

Other than that, nothing much to report. Class 32 was fine except my right knee was hurting in standing bow and triangle. I took a break on my mat during those postures. My running trainer used to say that injuries are the body's way of telling us we need a rest... but it's still a bit of a blow to the ego to skip those poses. Oh well - it's just yoga.

In other news, I got a sweet new mobile phone after work. Now I just need to find the relevant yoga related apps...

Class 31 + When i get sad i stop being sad and be awesome instead, true story

2010-02-05T07:02:00.000-08:00

I could complain about #31. The schedule was wrong so the instructor ended up being SternYogi who I don't particularly care for. Yes, I'm still bitter about the time last year when her oh so helpful feedback in Standing Head to Knee was "A. - that grip is not going to cut it." Uh, thanks. I'm not kicking out so I don't think it matters all that much and maybe telling me what to do (rather that just saying I'm wrong) would be a better way to go. Gah. So yes, I have issues with this particular instructor and try to avoid her. It was 8pm class and after a long day at work, I don't do that well starting something at 8pm unless it's a bottle of wine. But there was one funny part in class. I was pretty tuned out during the floor series. My knee had started hurting during Awkward Pose and I was worried about it all through the standing series. By the time we hit the floor, I felt pretty drained. So imagine my surprise when after spine twist I hear her say something that sounds like, "And that's the end of the awesomeness." WTF? Did Barney Stinson from "How I Met Your Mother" just take over SternYogi's body? She went on to say that we do 26 asanas and end class with a breathing exercise. Oh wait - the way she says asanas is just sort of weird and mumbly and sounds like awesomeness. \
Ah well, it would have been really odd to hear Barney Stinson-isms at yoga. Odd but legen... wait for it... dary. LEGENDARY!

Class 30 + some lovely self-sabotage

2010-02-03T22:08:00.000-08:00

I was reading on Seth Godin's blog yesterday about the lizard brain and I got to experience it today at yoga. All day today I was kind of thinking that I didn't want to go to yoga. I had to go to a meeting out in the suburbs so my routine was off. Instead of being a good yogi and hydrating after work, I had something to eat. A big something to eat. Ergo my stomach felt like crap for a good chunk of yoga. I was tempted to skip class because I had eaten but clearly that is sabotage because part of me doesn't want to skip class because I'm already down four on Bikram 101.
Not sure what my ultimate point is here, but just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I am my own worst enemy. Need to start being my own best friend methinks.

No yoga room for me today - trying to bring the yoga everywhere...

2010-02-02T22:30:00.001-08:00

Stayed up late last night emailing with an old friend so no 6am yoga this morning and no 6pm yoga because I had plans to meet friends for drinks after work. I'm trying to take the lessons of my yoga practice and apply them to life. So when I had a bit of verbal diarrhea and blabbed and blabbed (and blabbed) over my second beer (and a BLT), I tried to just see it as a bit of toxic stuff I needed to get out of my system! And I told my friends about a (non-yoga related) project I'm afraid to start. It's like toe stand - can't be afraid, just need to bend forward.
Yeah, I'm totally becoming one of those obnoxious people who tries to related yoga to everything :)

Class 29 + bus clusterfuck

2010-02-01T23:58:00.000-08:00

Did class 29 this evening. Yes, that makes me 3 classes behind - soon to be 4 because I'm meeting up with my girl friends for happy hour tomorrow after work and there is no chance I'm practicing at 6am tomorrow morning. I feel like I'm trying to hang on to my motivation but it's slipping a bit. That being said, I've thought about when I will practice for the rest of the week and plan to squeeze a double in on the weekend. So I guess I'm still sort of on track.

I meant to practice at 6pm tonight, but due to a bus clusterfuck, I couldn't get to class in time. I usually practice then go to my knitting group on Monday nights, but tonight I went to knitting first, then yoga. I'm glad I did! Jenn told me that there were 64 people at the 6pm class! ick. 8pm was much more civilized!

I've been feeling kind of feisty lately and not necessarily in a good way. I'm going to try to work on just feeling what I'm feeling but not attaching - like what is recommended in camel. I'm kind of embarrassed by how I've reacted to a few things lately, but I guess if I can see what's happening, then that's the first step towards dealing with life differently in the future. Also for me, staying well hydrated, well rested and well fed tends to improve my mood A LOT so I think I need to put a little more effort into really taking care of myself. It's not like anyone else is doing it - I need to set boundaries and make sure that I'm happy and healthy.

Ok enough deep thoughts - time for bed!

Class 27 + 28 - - - BIKRAM ROAD TRIP!

2010-01-31T18:37:00.000-08:00

Started out my road trip with 8am class at my studio yesterday morning. Left for Portland right afterward. Stopped only for an Egg McMuffin and to fill up my gas tank. Spent time with friends yesterday. Crept out of my friend's house this morning for 8am yoga in Portland. The studio was nice and I liked the studio and instructor. Of course every time you practice somewhere new, there are weird little hiccups, but overall, I was happy to be there. That was followed by more q.t. (quality time) with my pals and a fairly uneventful drive home. Wish I could have stayed longer because I love Portland but overall it was a good trip and I'm glad I got to practice down there. It's nice to have a change of scenery :)

Class 26 + H. + M.

2010-01-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

Did class 26 tonight. Over 30 people at Friday night yoga. Ugh. And someone near me smelled like Thai food. Of course my first instinct is to blame the guy next to me who was in spandex shorts but really it could have been anyone. As I may have mentioned here before, I tend to get sort of obsessed with certain foods and there was a period of time (ok, years) where I was a Thai food addict. I've even been to Thailand twice and even though I got so sick on the first trip that I thought I might be dying, I still have very fond memories of the green curry. That being said, fish saucy Thai food smell during Bikram was really grossing me out. The smell seemed to be less intense on the floor so I kicked it on my mat much more than usual tonight.
And I saw one of my new-ish yoga acquaintances H. She has a friend named M. who I talk to as well. I have hated not having "yoga friends" (besides Jenn but she's a teacher and knows everyone so she doesn't really count) but now I have H. + M. so that makes me happy. Plus their initials sound really catchy together :)
Off to Portland tomorrow morning (after 8am yoga) and will be practicing down there on Sunday. There is a studio in my friend's neighborhood so that will be uber-convenient. Had hoped to practice with @secretmuffin again, but I don't think our schedules will work out. But alas, there will be other trips to PDX in the future :)

25 down, 76 to go

2010-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Wow - those stats look kind of depressing when written out like that! And after today, they're only going to get worse since I'm not going to be able to make it to the studio after work today. This is a marathon, not a sprint... this is a marathon, not a sprint... THIS IS A GODDAMN MARATHON!
Ok, end crazy lady rant.
I guess I'm just looking at where I am - physically feeling pretty good. Except for some sporadic knee pain, the physical aspect of the classes has been mostly fine. Mentally I'm kind of all over the place. While the 90 minutes of moving meditation is great, I'm struggling with how much time it takes. There's not time to do too much else on the weekdays besides go to work and go to yoga. I miss happy hours! I miss being lazy! Yes, these are my white girl problems and yes, after this is over, I will probably appreciate my "freedom" even more. But I just wanted to say that doing Bikram yoga every day is hard!!!!!
---
Class 25 was decent. It was hot and the studio smelled kinda funky. I went to the late class so there was more space, yet the guy next to me still managed to be sweaty and weird and hit me during full locust. I guess yoga will slowly help me overcome my desire for personal space!

Class 24 pwned me

2010-01-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Class 24 completely kicked my ass. It was the teacher I suspect
did drama (or show choir) in high school... and now I suspect that
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THE HEAT/VENTILATION IN THE YOGA ROOM! I'm serious. She was opening the windows yet I think the heat
in the room was actually still on. Gah. It was definitely a Bikram
torture chamber. Considering how freaking hot and sweaty and terrible
it was, I only sat out a few postures, but I could never really get
into a groove in class and my mind was all over the place. I haven't
felt this bad after class since some of my first classes. I went into
the locker room after class and ate a fruit leather. I still felt
gross and there was a line for the shower so I went back into the
yoga room to fill up my water bottle. I ran into H. and M. (my new
yoga friends!) and they were complaining about the heat, too. I have
NEVER felt the room that hot in between classes before. Then I went
back and took a shower and got ready. I had been planning to go buy
my birthday present for myself after class (an iphone!) but I just
wanted to go home. I swung by my neighborhood market to pick up a
sandwich. I ate it and watched a bit of "30 Rock" and I still feel
completely wrecked. This is what I felt like after my first couple of
classes. My very first class I did with my sorority sister from
college. I thought it would never end and after class I went and got
McDonalds because all I could think was that I needed a Coke and
greasy fries! That's how I felt tonight but I got a Reuben sandwich
and chips instead!!! Oh and can I just mention that a Reuben has lots
of salty savory awesomeness? It's no peanut butter and pickle but
it's pretty damn close.

Was thinking about doing the 6am class tomorrow but that is not going
to happen! Hope you didn't get thrown under the yoga bus today like I
did :)

No yoga yesterday... and I actually miss it!

2010-01-26T10:36:00.000-08:00

Took the day off from Bikram 101 yesterday due to my birthday. My friends got me a princess cake which I thought was hilarious. It made sense to take yesterday off from class, yet I can honestly say that I miss my mat. I feel like my shoulders and hips are finally starting to open up and that I'm really "getting" a few of the postures. I think I finally figured out what Balancing Stick (tuala dandasana) is supposed to feel like! I'm actually looking forward to class tonight! And it looks like I'm going to get to practice with @secretmuffin down in Portland over the weekend so that will be fun.

#22 + #23 - for a few moments, I am just one class behind!

2010-01-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

Practiced this morning with my mom. Her very accurate observation before class was "there are some much more normal looking guys here today." It's true - there were some normal looking guys there today. Not sure what it's like where you practice, but there is a stereotypical Bikram guy look around here and it's even mentioned in the Yelp reviews for the studio I usually practice at.
Oh yeah, back to the yoga. I knew I was planning to practice again in the afternoon so I didn't want to leave it all on the mat in the morning. Had an ok class. I love the teacher I had this morning -she gives *great* corrections.
Afternoon yoga was class taught by Jenn. As I've mentioned here, I love Jenn. I will be honest though - I don't want to share Jenn with 50+ other students! My morning class was about 20 and I'll admit it again here - hearing my name every once in a while keeps me honest! When I'm in the back hardly able to see the mirror, it's kind of an invitation to be a slacker. While I'm happy the studio is busy, I am not yet to the point where I can love the group energy and embrace having someone's feet in my face. I had some angry yogi moments in class today. My inner monologue was not very yogi-like. Also I think I was just tired/drained because I had already practiced today. I don't really like doing doubles. This was only my third so maybe I just haven't gotten the hang of them yet.

Kurasu Nijuichi

2010-01-24T08:40:00.000-08:00

Did class 21 yesterday. Want to catch up so I'm not two behind. Have been thinking about squeezing in two classes today but will probably not practice tomorrow because it's my birthday and I've got a date with friends and cake. Anyway, class 21. It was hot hot hot. Two people left the room during class. That's quite rare at my studio. I have to say I wasn't all that unhappy when they walked out because I was near the door so I was thinking, "breeze sweet breeze." Overall it was a decent class although somewhat of a struggle. One of my favorite teachers was teaching and she is Japanese. After class she was at the desk speaking in Japanese to a Japanese woman. I could tell she was just about to switch to English to say goodbye to me, but I cut her off at the pass with a cheery, "Mata ne!" (Japanese equivalent of "[see you] later") They both laughed and chimed in with a "sayonara" and a "bye bye." I was amused by it and I think they were, too. It's fun to bust out Japanese with random Japanese people in Seattle because they never expect it.

Class 20 + you're never the same person as when you walked in the door...

2010-01-22T21:14:00.000-08:00

Did Class 20 tonight. Kinda bummed that I'm two days behind - I liked
knowing what class I was on by looking at the calendar. Le sigh. The
standing series was pretty good but I kinda died on the floor. My
tummy was not feeling good. Did this happen to me two weeks ago? Yes
it did. Did I eat the exact same lunch two weeks ago? Yes, I did.
Note to self: no Indian food on yoga days. After class, I had a
coconut water and it was MAGICAL! It made me feel alive again. One
thing I love about Bikram yoga is that it makes you appreciate some
of the simpler things in life - a cool breeze, fresh air (especially
when it smells like Mr. Butt is on the mat next to you - note: Mr.
Butt is what my friend and I say is the cause of bad smelling rooms),
icy cold water, the energy you get from coconut water or a snack
after class. Gotta love the simpler things especially when life feels
complicated...

----

And oh yes, life is feeling complicated these days. I'm trying to
take the lessons from the yoga room and apply them to life. Trying to
take the advice from camel - just feel whatever I'm feeling and not
attach to it. But that's easier said than done especially when I feel
bad about what I'm feeling because it's "wrong" and I shouldn't be
feeling it. I know that's cryptic and I wrote it that way on purpose.
I was feeling super overwhelmed by everything today and almost cried
at my desk at work. I'm not saying yoga healed everything or anything
like that because it didn't and it never will, but I do find that my
problems always look a little different after yoga. I always feel a
little different when I leave and sometimes a lot different. I'm
thankful for my yoga practice and while I still struggle with fitting
90 minutes of yoga in daily, I think for me the mental benefits of
the 90 minutes probably outweigh the physical benefits even though
those are great, too. So I guess what I'm trying to say is YAY YOGA!
Now time to hide under the covers and watch some Grey's Anatomy...

Yoga mini-break + Class 19 + the state of my studio

2010-01-21T22:26:00.001-08:00

Took a mini-break from yoga last night. Didn't go to yoga which means
that I am now 2 classes behind (boo!), but my mini-break was rad! I
got Chinese takeout and watched Singles and worked on a quilt
project. It was GREAT! I needed a day away from the room, a little
time to veg and really sometimes takeout and a movie is the perfect
thing. I think the thing about the challenge is that it's a reminder
that sometimes pushing through is what we need to do and sometimes we
need to listen to our minds/bodies when they tell us we need a day
off. And of course here I'm talking about us mere mortals, not
@ilovesweat who goes to class every day even when we're not having a
challenge! Anyway, my day off was awesome and I'm hoping to do a
double Sunday to make up one of my classes, but then Monday is my
birthday so I won't go to class unless I do the 6am so that would
make me at -2 yet again. Oh well - no biggie. This is a marathon, not
a sprint!!!

---

It was hot hot and crowded in class tonight but I felt like I was
having a great standing series. The floor was a little different, but
overall it was good and I was happy I was there. I ate less that
usual today due to an early morning dentist appointment which left
half of my mouth (and part of my nose) feeling numb. Work BFF and I
went to get coffee and I had to get mine iced so I could drink it
through a straw! Anyway my breakfast was only yogurt, lunch ended up
being small, didn't get to eat as much crackers + almond butter as I
wanted because my boss came by my desk just as I was passing out
snack to Work BFF #2. Point is I think I actually felt better having
less in my stomach. This is probably obvious to the experience
practitioners, but I really struggle because Bikram makes me
HUNGRY!!!! But I'm going to try to tweak my food intake a bit and
need to send Jenn an email because she said she has some suggestions
for me.

---

Not sure what it's been like at your studios, but it has been packed
at my studio since the new year started. While I think it's great
that people want to do yoga, I (selfishly) am craving a bit more
personal space. There are lots of newbies at class. I feel a bit bad
for them that they aren't getting the personal attention that I got
when I was the new kid. I am so thankful that I started doing Bikram
when I did. I had some amazing teachers who really encouraged me. One
of them recently moved to New Zealand and I'm surprisingly bummed
about it. He was one of my biggest cheerleaders and didn't care about
how sweaty I was - he would help twist my leg on Eagle or pull up my
legs in Floor Bow anyway. I miss that guy!

I have officially hit the wall... + Class 17 + Class 18

2010-01-20T09:20:00.000-08:00

Class 17 was Monday. I did the 6pm class which meant I was late to knitting. Class was hot and crowded yet sort of ok at the same time. One of my favorite teachers was teaching and she's one of those people who I definitely trust to get me through class.

Class 18 was last night. It was super crowded (50+ people) and I was having yoga angst. You know - one of those classes where one's inner monologue is set to super speed. But seriously I do think some of the complaints were slightly valid. The teacher who was teaching is new to the studio (and I think teaching in general) and I really don't think she was managing the temperature right. In the room, there are vents that can be set to let in cool air and there are fans and there are high windows that can be opened. Instead of using the vents, last night's teacher left the fans on forever. The fans were recirculating hot, skanky air. The fans are distracting when I am in yoga angst mode. So that was making me on edge and then the teacher was speaking in a weird voice and was fake smiling a lot. She seemed to think she was very cute when she was fake smiling and all I could think was, "I bet this chick did drama in high school (due to the weird overdramatic voice thing)." I guess part of it is just that I take class from some AMAZING teachers so when the not so amazing ones are there, it's an especially dramatic difference. Ok - that's probably enough ranting about my yoga angst. Class wise, the standing series went quite well but I was soooo drained by the time we got to the floor. I went over to a friend's house after yoga and didn't get home until about 11pm.

And that brings us to today. I could not get out of bed this morning - I was soooooo tired. I'm kind of a morning person (translation: big nerd) and I generally can get out of bed when ye olde alarm goes off. That was not the case this morning. I reset my alarm for 30 minutes later. I didn't even bring my yoga bag to work today. I am officially drained. I need a day off. I know these are my white girl problems and plenty of people work harder than me... but I'm trying to listen to my body which is saying that it needs an evening of Netflix and vegging out. Skipping today will put me two classes behind. But I'm basically at the point where 101 classes in 101 days seems like too much for me. How would I feel if instead for me it was 92 classes in 101 days? 95 classes in 101 days? Even 80 classes in 101 days? That would still be pretty freaking awesome, right?

So today I will rest.

Class 15 & 16 + never make me go to Costco after yoga

2010-01-17T22:56:00.001-08:00

Practiced with my mom yesterday. Had a great new to me teacher. She
had great energy and didn't talk to much. Really good class for me -
one of the best ones I've had in a while.
After class, my mom said she just needed to run to Costco for a
microwave. This ended up being totally false. She needed a microwave
which went in one cart and then she filled up another cart with other
stuff. I do not recommend a trip to Costco on a Saturday after you've
left it all on the mat at Bikram yoga! I was not a happy camper at
Costco and even samples couldn't revive me! Went home and rested up
for a few hours before meeting up with friends and then I was a-ok.
Today was class 16. I was there. I was sweaty and tired. Not much
else to say.

class 13 + class 14 + upcoming plans for my sporty life

2010-01-15T12:52:00.001-08:00

Class 13 - I know I attended Class 13. I ran into Jenn after Class 13. I stood kind of by the door in Class 13. Basically I remember very little else about Class 13. It existed, I was there, afterwards I ate a middle eastern fried cauliflower pita and tumeric rice. Delish!

Class 14 - Went to class right after work. Classes right after work tend to be freaking crowded although as the month rolls on and the new years resolutioners go away, it's slightly better. But it's not the practice I'm used to. I first started practicing at my studio regularly in the spring of 2008. By spring, classes are getting smaller so the teachers learn everyone's names and give loads o' corrections! Especially if you're a not so coordinated baby yogi like myself! Then for a lot of 2009, I practiced at off hours due to being unemployed. Go to a noon class on a Tuesday and you'll get loads of personal attention. While I know that my practice is for me, the idea that the teacher is watching does help me stay focused. In Class 13 and Class 14, I had teachers who I knew weren't watching me. I was in the back, they didn't know my name.. kinda allowed me to slack a bit. Nothing really wrong with that especially since this challenge is a marathon not a sprint. I guess it's good for me to recognize that I generally have a better, more engaged class if I am taking class from a teacher I know and who knows me.

My post yoga workout life - yes, I'm already thinking about it. New plan is... ... ... wait for it.. ... ... Seattle Marathon 2010! I ran a half marathon in 2008 and my friend and I are signed up to run the Portland Half Marathon in October this year. The Seattle Marathon is 7 weeks after the Portland Half so I'll already be training... Seems like it might work out well. Haven't signed up yet, but it's very much on my mind lately. Unless I find myself a boyfriend, I'm thinking that 2010 will be the year that I am really sporty :)

Class 12 + my first day off

2010-01-13T15:44:00.001-08:00

Class 12 was a reminder that I really can't get away with eating indian food for lunch on days that I do 6pm yoga. It just doesn't work for my stomach and therefore doesn't work for me. I did not feel that good and sat out a couple of postures. Also my knees were bugging me a bit. I've struggled with knee issues for years. I tried to be very conscious of being easy on my knees and some of the postures felt different. I think that sometimes I must be tensing my muscles weirdly or something and making the postures harder than they are. That's not a very good explanation but it just felt like some postures were easier when I was focusing on not stressing my knees.
I took yesterday off. Drank a beer after work with work people, went out to dinner with friends and then went to Target. My new plan to get through the 101 days is to throw in a few morning (6am) classes and allow myself to take a day of every 10 days or two weeks or so. I was able to do 30 days in a row previously, but I wasn't working. 101 days is a marathon, not a sprint, so I'm all about adjusting things so that I can complete this challenge.
Back on my mat after work today and I'm kinda looking forward to it :)

on a day like today, i look forward to being on my mat...

2010-01-11T10:35:00.001-08:00

It is pouring down rain. And my boss called me on my cell while I was on the bus on my way to work. On a day like today, I'm very happy that I get to end my (work) day with 6pm yoga. I'm actually looking forward to getting to my mat today...

kinda sorta threw my own personal tantrum at class today

2010-01-10T19:47:00.001-08:00

I am not proud of Class 11. As you may have read in my earlier
entries, a certain teacher's classes have been running late. I know
that if I were an evolved yogi, I would be thankful for extra time in
postures or extra words of wisdom that make class run long... but I'm
still a baby yogi! I WANT MY CLASS TO END ON TIME and if it doesn't,
I get super antsy and I want to cry and whine. I have asked the
teacher in question how to handle my extreme angst at class running
long. He said that I am welcome to leave when the 90 minutes are up.
That's what I did today. I made eye contact with him and whispered
that I needed to leave. I did need to leave. I needed to go get a
falafel, I needed to get on with my life. I could only give 90
minutes to yoga today. In the future, maybe I'll be open to doing a
longer, more free form class with this instructor but for now, it
doesn't work for me. Luckily I have lots of other teachers to choose
from at my studio and the other studio in town so I can pick and
choose classes that don't make me so angst-filled!

In other news, there was someone named Francois in my class. This is
funny if you, like me, saw Youth in Revolt this weekend.

Class 9 + Class 10

2010-01-09T14:52:00.000-08:00

Class 9 - my stomach was not feeling good. I blame the indian food I had for lunch. I am not proud to admit that I sat out most of the floor series... but it couldn't be helped because my belly was in pain. I was totally "that guy" - the gross person in class who farts and burps...
I had veggie pho after class and that seemed to help. I think pho is a great post yoga food because it's salty and savory and super delicious.
That brings us to Class 10 which went very smoothly compared to last night's class. One of my favorite instructors was teaching and overall it was just a good 90 minutes.

bikram twitter people

2010-01-08T13:57:00.001-08:00

Feeling very thankful for my Bikram twitter peeps today. They have that wonderful combination of pushing me and being super encouraging at the same time. Especially thankful to @jenngemini who gave me a pep talk/scheduling workshop via IM :)

On Twitter over the past day or two, I've been doubting my will to do this challenge. I've been feeling kinda bad about going straight from work to yoga and not really seeing my friends or having slacker fun during the week. But I'm refocusing, I'm going to mix up my class schedule a bit (hello 6am yoga once or twice a week.)

I'm ready to refocus for week 2 and beyond... 8 down, 93 to go. As my man @adamcarolla would say - LET'S GET IT ON!

xo
@bikramanda

Class #8 + new favorite post yoga food

2010-01-07T22:44:00.001-08:00

Did Class #8 tonight. It ended on time. It was less crowded than any
of the other classes I've been to this week. Not much to say. Class
wasn't awesome or terrible - it seemed to go by pretty quickly.

----

After class I was starving as per usual. I got a falafel pita
sandwich and IT WAS AMAZING! It's vegetarian which is probably a good
thing considering my stomach has been a bit unhappy lately. And it's
kinda salty/savory which really hits the spot but it tastes fresh at
the same time and has veggies (lettuce, cucumber, tomato, parsley.)
Although it may not be on ilovesweat's list of foods to eat daily
(http://ilovesweat.com/wordpress/?page_id=721), I think falafel may
go on my list of foods that taste even better after yoga. Falafel FTW!!!

Class 7 - not one of my finer moments

2010-01-06T22:45:00.001-08:00

Class was challenging both mentally and physically today. It seems (from Twitter at least) that quite a few of us are struggling with what to eat and when to eat. Physically I just didn't feel very energetic and overall I was not excited to be in the room. It didn't help matters when I saw that the teacher who taught the 105 minute class over the weekend would be teaching. That is not what the online schedule said! But hey - class tonight was only 100 minutes so I guess I should be thankful! But seriously, IT IS NOT PROFESSIONAL to do that on a regular basis. The poses haven't changed. There is a clock in the room. And even though I feel sorry for myself when class goes late (and you know I do feel sorry for myself) it's the brand new yogis I really feel for. And if I wasn't going to class every damn day, I probably wouldn't care as much, but 10-15 minutes late PER CLASS would be over an hour of my time each week. NOT COOL.
Ok, end crazy ranting. Clearly all this yoga is making me grumpy at the moment. And oh so hungry yet with a tummy that doesn't feel that great. Ugh.

Haven't been doing daily blogging, but have been doing daily yoga

2010-01-06T09:00:00.001-08:00

My intention was to keep track of each and every class on this blog like I did with my 30 day challenge, but so far that hasn't happened. It's been a combination of flaky internet access at home and just being busy, but I just sent up posting by email for my blog so that should help thing!
Let's take a brief look at the classes so far...
Class 3 - my knee actually felt pretty good in class! I was sooooo relieved. I was worried that I was going to have to stop the challenge before I had even really gotten started. Basically I just felt gratitude for being able to practice!
Class 4 - practiced with my mom at another studio. Great class! I love the teacher who was teaching there. Unfortunately she owns the other studio so I'll never see her at my home studio and that makes me sad. She is truly a gifted teacher and gave me a really helpful correction on balancing stick.
Class 5 - 50 people in class! And I didn't really wanted to be there - I wanted to be at my normal Monday night activity which is my knitting group. But I got to practice next to Jenn and that helped me stay strong in class. She has a great attitude towards yoga/life and I wish you could all come practice with us at our studio!
Class 6 - 50 people again! Super crowded and the instructor seemed to be struggling with the ventilation. The fans were on for a huge part of class which I found quite distracting. If the after work class keeps being this crowded and crazy, I might have to switch to either the 6am or 8pm.

So overall things are going well. Trying to manage logistics like laundry and snacks is going ok because I'm trying to be organized. I had a peanut butter and pickle sandwich after class last night so the weird salty/savory cravings have definitely started!

6 down, 95 to go!!!

testing out posting by email....

2010-01-05T14:54:00.001-08:00

is this thing on?

Bikram101 - Class 1 + 2 and FitToes

2010-01-02T13:55:00.001-08:00

Well, not the smoothest start to 101 Days of Bikram! Class 1 was 105 minutes long and I believe I have ranted here before about how it makes me irate when classes run long and how I think it is unprofessional! So not a great start. Then during Class 2 in the afternoon, my left knee started hurting. I've been struggling with knee issues off and on for the past few years and my knees have been bugging me for the past few weeks, but still it was a disappointing start to things. I hobbled down to Starbucks first thing this morning and I was really feeling like class was probably not going to happen today... but after reading "Youth in Revolt", chatting with a good pal, and eating some pho, the knee seems to be feeling better. So I'll be doing 5pm class today but I intend to take it easy.

----

I know that some of my fellow yogis are anti-product, anti-materialism, anti-brand, etc. While I would like to be one of those people, I am not one of those people. I like to have the right gear for my hobbies! And of course, I have used Bikram101 as an excuse to stock up on gear. I wasn't sure whether I would use my Breathe yoga mat/towel combos during the 101 days or whether to go back to Yogitoes and a yoga mat. My studio sells the Breathe mat/towels for $44.00 which is a great deal. I bought another one yesterday so I'm planning to use my 3 Breathe mats as much as possible - they really do seem more hygenic to me since they are washed after every use unlike my yoga mats. However when doing some research on Yogitoes, I discovered that they have a new discount line called Fittoes. They are sold at Sports Authority and other chain stores. I checked them out yesterday and the nubs on the back of the towel are slightly different than Yogitoes, but they are only $25-$30 and because Bikram isn't flow yoga, you don't really need ubernubs anyways. I would recommend checking them out if you are looking for a cheaper yoga towel.
I'll talk more about my new yoga backpack and yoga wetbag in a future post.

Planning for 2010...

2009-12-20T09:52:00.001-08:00

Have returned to the world of work which leaves less time for the world of yoga and blogging... but I'm gearing up for the Bikram 101 challenge which starts January 1, 2010. I'll have some new Lululemon yoga gear under the tree at Christmas. I'm very much looking forward to the physical and mental "work" that comes from that much yoga - I think it will be a great experience. Join me? Bikram 101 blog - http://bikram101.blogspot.com/

They call it practice for a reason

2009-10-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm continuing to practice. Continuing to experience the ups and downs of the hot room. I'm getting better at experiencing ups and downs in the hot room but still not so good at experiencing them in life! Some of my postures are getting better, I tried 6am yoga for the first time (it's awesome by the way and deserves a full post of its own!), and I got a new Breathe yoga mat/towel combination which kicks major ass. Life is hard though. I'm looking for a job, trying to figure out if I want to stay in my field, trying to push myself to explore some new exciting (but scary) opportunities.
Who knows what's around the corner? I don't but there is part of me that has been dragging my feet instead of running ahead.
Ok, for the next post I promise more yoga, less rambling about life!

The last few days in review

2009-08-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

Didn't practice Wednesday because I was an extra in Lynn Shelton's newest project. She's a local filmmaker who made the movie "Humpday." It was an interesting experience - not sure I would do it again, but I liked learning a bit more about how movies are made.
Didn't practice yesterday due to car issues. My car key would open my car door but wouldn't start the engine. Not cool. Had to be rescued with an extra key.
PRACTICED TODAY! Great class taught by Jenn. She's awesome! Didn't get down to my elbows in fixed firm, but that's ok. I've got the rest of my life (and maybe my next life or twelve) to practice yoga.
I'm feeling kind of dehydrated and gross at the moment. I really need to focus more on my diet. I've been living on junk food for the past few months. Not cool at all.

Get your money's worth

2009-08-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

For the most part, I like my studio, but it's not the most welcoming place in the world. It doesn't really feel like a community. There's not a lot of conversation between the instructors and the students. But today before class, I decided to ignore that fact and I went to talk to the instructor to get more info on how to get down to my elbows in fixed firm. I told her that I got my butt down on my mat for the first time ever yesterday. She explained what to do - I had apparently been oblivious to the part of the instructions that talked about putting your hands on your feet. So during class, I got down to my elbows! Yay!
Long story short - the instructors are there to help and even if they are standoff-ish, go up to them and ask questions when they aren't busy. You're paying for the class and you're showing up so you might as well get your money's worth!

Note to fixed firm: watch out because you're going to get pwned!

2009-08-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

It was very hot in the yoga room today. While this did, at times, make me feel like I was going to die, I also had to look on the bright side and see that it made me feel bendier. Unlike some lucky folks, I don't have great natural flexibility. Also I have long legs and a short torso - not exactly a great yoga physique! I struggle with the postures. I love the yoga. I like reading the Bikram blogs. I put yoga classes on my calendar so I make sure I go to classes taught by teachers I like. But I have a LONG way to go on quite a few of the postures. Fixed firm has been my nemesis for quite some time. Before getting into Bikram, I was running quite a bit and I have some foot issues which I probably should go to a podiatrist for but have been avoiding it. Long story but basically that means that I have some foot/ankle/knee issues. However I was finally able to get my ass down on the floor completely in fixed firm today and was able to sort of kind of go backwards. My teacher was trying to get me to go back on one elbow first which felt kind of awkward but I guess it's similar to how you go back for camel. I'm looking forward to improving at some of my more difficult postures. I guess I've got my whole life to perfect my practice. And also I've got to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT MY POSTURES LOOK LIKE! It doesn't even matter in terms of getting the full benefits from the yoga.
Ok, I'm keeping perspective on this, but am also excited to make fixed firm my bitch!

Another one of my crazy Bikram theories...

2009-08-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

No, this one isn't about sex. It's about my other favorite topic - - - FOOD! :) Back in college when I was young and foolish, my friend and I had this idea that we should only eat when we were drunk. This isn't an idea we actually implemented, but the basis for it was just that everything tastes really good when you're drunk. Even random cheap trashy food can be quite nom nom nom after a few beers. I kind of feel the same about food after Bikram yoga - things tend to taste really good to me. French fries from McDonalds taste ridiculously salty and delicious. A can of Coke is so yum that it's ridiculous that it costs less than a dollar. Tonight I'm eating Greek yogurt with sliced apricot and a bit of almond butter and even that is pretty darn tasty.
Maybe I should go to Bikram teacher training... then I would pretty much only be eating after yoga. I bet everything tastes delicious! (kidding - I'm sure Jenn or someone will chime in here about how that isn't the case!)

Good class today

2009-08-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've had a good class. I know that any Bikram class I actually get to is good, but today was a *good* class. Didn't sit out any postures, got some helpful corrections from Jenn and she said that my half moon backwards was "looking good." Just had a green smoothie at Chaco Canyon and now I'm feeling healthy. Now if only the boy would stop being busy all the time...

Have I told you about this theory I have about Bikram yoga?

2009-08-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

The main reason I haven't been on my mat much lately has been the heat. Also I think I got slightly burned out after my 30 days but was in denial that I was burned out. But the fact remains that my body and mind are much happier when I'm on my mat most days. And I really need the yoga these days because I'm a single lady with a crush on a boy who is playing hard to get.
Things with the boy are kind of limping along. We got ice cream and saw a movie last week. And that's great. Really. When we see each other, it's good and I feel like we have chemistry and we send each other silly little emails and texts sometimes. However, the bad part is that he's been out of town and super busy with work stuff but he says that things should calm down in a week or two and then he will be social again... but until then, I am pining away a bit. It's not that I'm sitting home doing nothing - I even went on a date with another guy last week, but of course this one particular guy is the one who I like.
That brings me to my theory. I have this theory that Bikram yoga is the perfect activity for the sexually frustrated woman. Not only does it help one burn off a bit of extra energy as well as get more toned and fit for the dating scene, there is also the added bonus of seeing men of all shapes and sizes in Speedos. I don't know about you, but seeing men in Speedos (especially ones with long ponytails, gross tattoos and/or big bellies) really turns me off and makes me question whether I am even attracted to men at all.
So that is how my renewed Bikram practice is going to help me deal with liking a boy who is playing hard to get. Thank you Seattle men in Speedos for being such a huge turn off - especially those of you at the 4pm class I went to today.

Finding it hard to get on my mat...

2009-07-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

Have been seduced by summer. Leisurely walks around the lake. Drinking beers on patios. Trips to Target to get SPF 70 sunscreen.

But I miss the yoga. And I miss reading @MeiNg and @ilovesweat's blogs every day. And I am intrigued by the fact that one of my favorite Bikram Twitterers (@yogaballs) now says he may not even want to teach Bikram even though he just finished teacher training. There's got to be a story there and hopefully he'll share it with us.

But for now I'm going to enjoy summer...