Monday, August 3, 2009

Have I told you about this theory I have about Bikram yoga?

The main reason I haven't been on my mat much lately has been the heat. Also I think I got slightly burned out after my 30 days but was in denial that I was burned out. But the fact remains that my body and mind are much happier when I'm on my mat most days. And I really need the yoga these days because I'm a single lady with a crush on a boy who is playing hard to get.
Things with the boy are kind of limping along. We got ice cream and saw a movie last week. And that's great. Really. When we see each other, it's good and I feel like we have chemistry and we send each other silly little emails and texts sometimes. However, the bad part is that he's been out of town and super busy with work stuff but he says that things should calm down in a week or two and then he will be social again... but until then, I am pining away a bit. It's not that I'm sitting home doing nothing - I even went on a date with another guy last week, but of course this one particular guy is the one who I like.
That brings me to my theory. I have this theory that Bikram yoga is the perfect activity for the sexually frustrated woman. Not only does it help one burn off a bit of extra energy as well as get more toned and fit for the dating scene, there is also the added bonus of seeing men of all shapes and sizes in Speedos. I don't know about you, but seeing men in Speedos (especially ones with long ponytails, gross tattoos and/or big bellies) really turns me off and makes me question whether I am even attracted to men at all.
So that is how my renewed Bikram practice is going to help me deal with liking a boy who is playing hard to get. Thank you Seattle men in Speedos for being such a huge turn off - especially those of you at the 4pm class I went to today.


Mei said...

Amen to that sister.

I've got a shocking / scandalous confession, though! During my first 30 days, or rather, my first 2.5-3 weeks, my GOD I was ragingly hormonal. Felt like I needed to er, ahem, *reproduce without getting pregnant* aka "So help me GOD there had better be a man within a 2 mile radius that I'd like to sleep with or I'll dry hump the pole".

I say Bikram Yoga does help burn off the extra energy, but it only works a short while. And if you think what you saw is gross, I once practiced behind a guy who wore boxer shorts and had long, yellow, disgusting toenails that were 45 inches away from my face.

thedancingj said...

Bwahahahahahaha... speaking as a girl who's been single for *ahem* some time now... and who practices Bikram every day... this might be the funniest observation I've heard in a long time.

secretmuffin said...

Your speedo theory is fantastic. I am not turned on or off by the speedos, I don't even "see" them in my mind.

A few months ago, I was sitting in the lobby/waiting area of the yoga studio with a bunch of other women waiting for class to start. We were chatting about whatever and we started to discover that (including myself) that there were three women sitting in the group that were going through long distance relationships. I also reminded the group that another lady in the studio (not present) had a BF in the military. We all looked at each other with the knowing, this yoga helps with sexual frustration, glances. Anyways, I am gonna keep on practicing, with or without regular sex. Doh!

a. said...

Mei - as usual, thanks for the laugh :) boxer shorts?!? i'm really not sure whether that is better or worse than a speedo. i guess it's worse, but i am a real speedo hater!!!

thedancingj - i'm always happy to throw a little humor into the online bikram world!! :)

secretmuffin - wow! you are much more mentally tough than me if you don't even see the speedos!