bikram. torture. chamber.

OMG it felt like a torture chamber in the yoga room today. Hot, humid, crowded. Was not appreciating the teacher or the group energy. My knee was hurting during class (but luckily feels better after.) It was just ugh mixed with yuck mixed with angst. But you know what? It passed. When I got into the changing room, I had a text message from a friend asking me to meet up for a drink. I called her and said that I needed food way more than I needed a drink so we met up to chow on Chipotle. We laughed and laughed and ate and laughed and it was just what I needed. Yay for yoga and friends!

When things fall apart...

My yoga practice has gotten sporadic. I got back on my mat today and it was quite possibly my worst ever class. But I think that also makes it my best ever class. I felt AWFUL. There are some classes that feel like exercise or a work out of some sort - classes where you feel like you're stretching and strengthening and working your physical body. This was not one of those classes. The stress and angst of the past few weeks just seemed to be bubbling to the surface, making me hot, tired, dizzy, weak. I had no choice but to deal with the discomfort for 90 minutes... and then it passed. I picked up a book today called "When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by an American Buddhist nun named Pema Chodron. Just like Bikram, she recommends embracing the difficult times. I think my Bikram practice will be a great complement to this reading on Buddhism.

Yoga semi-hiatus

Due to half-marathon training, work, being sick, etc., my Bikram practice isn't really happening at the moment. But there are a few other yoga related things going on.

1. The documentary "Enlighten Up" is on Netflix Watch Instantly. I'm really not sure what the filmmaker was trying to do with this film. On the one hand, I felt like she was trying to push her own yoga experience on to the yoga noob she focuses on in the film. On the other hand, I felt like she was trying to expose "western" yoga as not being "real" yoga. That's a bit of a touchy subject for me since I'm a Bikram yogini and Bikram talks about how his series is made for western people --- and it totally works for me! Kind of glad I didn't go see the film in the theater because I think it would have annoyed me even more if I had paid $10 to see it!

2. I'm in the very baby planning stages of a possibly trip to SE Asia this fall... Still very early - not sure if it can/will happen due to work/life, but I would love to go and practice possibly in Phuket and maybe Kuala Lumpur. Still lots to figure out logistically but it might work...

Sober sister

Went to class after work today. My friend J. from knitting who went to her first class on 4th of July came as well! I'm so proud of her!!! Two classes under her belt! And she likes it :)
It was definitely a hot class today. I felt better than usual at the beginning of class because this was my 3rd day in a row practicing and because the heat made me feel looser at the beginning of class.
I've quit online dating and I'm trying to drink less so being on my mat for 90 minutes a day gives me something to do where I'm away from the temptations of friends and bars and thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about. One of my college friends called me tonight and she is also trying to get on the clean living train. In our sorority in college, we had to have "sober sisters" at some of our events - girls who weren't drinking. I said that I'm finding it hard to be a sober sister these days - she feels the same way. We're going to meet up for Diet Cokes and maybe a walk around Greenlake later this week. CHANGE IS HARD!

Back home

Practiced again today. That makes 3 times in the last week which is the most I've practiced in a while. And I'm planning to practice tomorrow after work. My mat is starting to feel like "home" again. I like that feeling.
Class today was a hot one. Everyone was feeling it. My pal M. at ilovesweat posted today about how he pushes himself through postures even when he's feeling kind of meh. While I totally get that and I think it's appropriate some days, there is something else that I've been thinking about lately. My favorite teacher said something interesting in class a few weeks ago. She said that we should lie down when we need to and that she doesn't want to see us get up until we're ready to be practicing again. Basically if we're doing the posture, she wants us to really be doing the posture and be happy about doing the posture. She said if we're not ready to fully participate, then it's ok to lie down until we feel ready. It's an interesting way to think about it. You can be tired and sweaty and hot... and happy to be practicing! Or you can hang out on your mat in savasana until you're ready to be. I'm working on mindfulness and positive mental attitude and all of that good stuff - I even have power thought cards in my bag so this way to think about class and the postures was interesting for me.
Is it ever too hot to go in the hot room? We've got 90 degree temperatures coming this way. I realize that in most of America (or possibly the world), that would not be a big deal, but here in Seattle, it's news.. FRONT PAGE NEWS! We shall see how the week progresses :)
Oh and I got a super cute new water bottle today. TIE DYE! And it has a straw. I'm apparently too much of a klutz to use my Klean Kanteen in class - I can't open the damn thing after my hands get sweaty. Straw FTW!

Holiday yoga

It was hot and crowded at class today. There were 6 new people and one of them was my friend J. from knitting. She did fantastic! She did most of the poses and I think we're still friends :) She said she wants to come back in a day or two.
After class, I went to a friend's house for a bbq. Unfortunately we ended up inside for most of the afternoon due to rain. Fortunately there was a boozy strawberry trifle to eat. However now I have a headache and am probably going to hide out and be a hermit for the rest of the evening.
No work tomorrow so I should be able to find some time for Bikram.

Ups and downs

Life has been up and down lately. My yoga practice has been very occasional - maybe once or twice a week. Practiced last night and I could definitely tell that I had been out of the room for a while. I've been thinking about why I've been struggling to get on my mat. It has partly been a time issue - I would rather do things other than go to yoga before or after work. But it's also a nutrition issue I think. During my attempt at Bikram101, I got really run down and was cramping a lot. I don't cook that much and really don't eat that healthy. While I complain about the extra pounds I've packed on over the last few years, considering how much junk food I eat, I'm actually somewhat surprised that I'm not bigger. Doing lots of Bikram yoga tends to make me want savory, salty, crazy junk food even more. If I want to have a regular yoga practice, I need to focus on getting more healthy, real food into my diet. And maybe in the short term, protein shakes or Gatorade. I need to take better care of my body if I want my body to be able to do 90 minutes in the hot room on a daily or almost daily basis. Oh and I'm starting my half marathon training soon so that's another thing on my plate. But I'm excited about it and want to monitor my progress here on a more regular basis. I miss this blog and the Bikram blog/Twitter community!

Struggles on the mat and off the mat

I practiced twice this week. Both times I struggled. My balance seemed to be nonexistent. I had eaten either too much or too little before class. But still it was good to practice this yoga. While lots of the other Bikram yoga bloggers have plans to become professional Bikram yogis, for me, this is just a practice. Just a way of clearing my mind - a natural high of sorts. I need to make time for myself and my practice. It's easy to get distracted by dates and friends and plans, but if I don't make time for me, I'm not good at those other things.
So again, I vow to recommit to my yoga.

Stomachache yoga

I know I'm not the only one who has ever tried to power through Bikram class with a stomachache - I think The Missus has posted about it in the past. But it's one of those weird things where the standing series can sort of be handled but then the floor just gets terrible!!! So during the time when I was hanging out on my mat, wishing for class to be over, I thought about how the teacher was annoying me. She was talking too much - so many words and words and more words! Then she told the class not to drink water during postures... even though she proceeded to drink water while we were in savasana. She also filled up her water bottle while we were in savasana. I think that is just bad form. Maybe I'm becoming the next Mary Jarvis, but I think that teachers shouldn't drink much (or at all) during class. WHEN I SEE THE TEACHER DRINKING WATER, IT MAKES ME WANT TO DRINK WATER! I know water isn't going to save me, but there is definitely a power of suggestion kind of thing that goes on in class. It's like when one of the teachers was preggo. We saw a pregnant lady doing FINE in class or teaching class and it made the rest of us suck it up!
Additional yoga related deep thoughts that I had today - I still think that my studio is kinda unfriendly but I was feeling the love more today than ever before. One teacher and two students said hi and asked where I had been! And one of the "regulars" deemed me worthy of a chat in the line for the bathroom. There are some incredibly hard core regulars and they scare me a little!
Ok, enough yoga rambling...

Flailing a bit...

For a couple of months, my yoga mat was my anchor. Now I'm drifting around. Have done some Crossfit, have done some dating, did two Bikram classes over the weekend. Trying to figure out what I "should" be doing as well as what I want to be doing. One good thing is that the crowds seem to have dropped off at ye olde Bikram studio so it's not as crazy crowded as it was earlier in the year. Still miss my old favorite teacher who lives in New Zealand now. Have been following thedancingj's experience at Bikram Teacher Training. Her love of the yoga makes me want to get back in touch with my love of the yoga!
Planning to get back on my mat after work today!