Sunday, February 21, 2010

Class 48 + i am in a MOOD

Did class 48 tonight. Jenn was teaching. I heart Jenn. First half of the class was fine - Jenn made some jokes, I did everything except toe stand due to my jacked up knee - second set of tree instead, everything was a-ok. Then the floor just sucked ass. I basically lost all focus - Jenn had to talk me into a second set of camel. After class I went to the natural grocery store near the yoga studio. I hate that place. Every time I go there, I get annoyed by the other customers and the staff. Tonight was especially bad because I saw one of my ex's best friends. I was already in a bit of a mood from yoga and seeing her just pushed me over the edge into being in even more of a mood. I know that there are 12 people in Seattle and I know that I could have just as easily run into someone I know and like, but that did not help my mood.
I'm pretty much over this yoga challenge. I know that Mary Jarvis says that this is the mental part of days 30-60, but how do I know that it's just that?!? I'm starting to wonder if I should be getting back to my real life. I don't have a lot going on these days besides yoga and work... During the week, I'm busy enough, I'm tired enough to fall asleep at the end of the day, I don't really have to think about my lack of big picture career focus, my lack of a life partner, my lack of kids, pets, mortgage, etc. My work BFF gave me a talking to the other day. It was some stuff I didn't want to hear but probably needed to hear. Yes, a 101 day yoga challenge is a great thing to do but not if I'm hiding out in said yoga challenge and avoiding things like dating and having a social life. Not sure whether it's more brave to try to tough it out through the next 50-ish days of this challenge or whether it's more brave to walk away from the challenge and try to get some balance back in my real life...
Sorry to be all doom and gloom about Bikram101 in this post. I appreciate all of your comments here and all of the support I've gotten on Twitter from my fellow yogamaniacs! You guys and girls are awesome and I never would have gotten this far without you!!!


The Missus said...

This the halfway point. Don't stress! Just take it day-by-day.

Always keep moving forward, and good things will happen. Tomorrow is a new beginning. Go to bed tonight, and don't think about what you don't have. Think about what you do have and what you can do tomorrow to enhance your life.

Mei said...

Do not have expectations about what you can do ... it's perfectly allright to want time to yourself... and sometimes you might even feel a little lonely halfway!

Half the struggle is getting to class, the second struggle is between mind and body :)

bikramyogachick said...

Ultimately you have to do what's best for you. I know for a fact that others are having the same thoughts. Heck, I'm three classes behind and just am not feeling very motivated lately. I'm actually taking two vacation days off work this week to do doubles both days so I can feel like I'm still in this! Ugh.
We heart you and support you no matter what you decide!

cheryl said...

I have no reason to be doling advice on this since I probably will never do a challenge b/c I like going about 4x/week BUT from personal experience with something related -

To make a long story short, I made these goals to do various races this year - 1/2 marathon, Olympic distance triathlon & century ride. But in the meantime got really into bikram. Soooo, now I don't want to do these races anymore but feel guilty backing out of commitments with friends.

But I also realized you have to do what is right for you. And I think I'm going to stick with yoga for now.

BUT if you need a pep talk to stay with it, then stay with it :)