Friday, February 26, 2010

Class 51 + Class 52 + maybe Mary Jarvis was right about the emotional thing...

Didn't practice on Wednesday due to margaritas with a friend. We had a great conversation and it was just what I needed. I'm thankful for the interesting people I've met over the past few years. I still consider the people I've met since moving back here after grad school my "new" friends even though some of them I've now known for almost 4 years. I guess margaritas were my yoga on Wednesday!
I did class 51 before work yesterday. It was sooo tough. I felt incredibly stiff and I attributed that to the fact that it was 6am. I just felt like i couldn't relax into the postures - everything was tough. I laid down on my mat at one point not because I was tired but because I was frustrated. I was started to think that this whole challenge is futile...
And then I went to class tonight at a different studio with one of my favorite teachers. IT WAS SO GOOD! I've never gone back that far in half moon backwards, I did everything including toe stand, I was able to get my butt down in fixed firm... IT WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT BECAUSE IT WAS HOT! If I needed proof of the power of the heat, I have it now! I think the heat must be fucked up at my home studio. Looks like I'll be practicing elsewhere this weekend.
In other news, the past few weeks have been really emotional for me. I think I'm mostly just posted about my frustration here and the more negative stuff... but if I look back at the past month or so, I can see a real difference in my emotions. I went through a really hard time personally and professionally over the past few years and I was totally "that girl" for a while - the one who would cry all the time. I feel sorry for my friends because I was not much fun to hang out with for quite some time... then after that, for the past year or so, I just got kind of numb. I didn't cry all the time, but I wasn't feeling much. I feel like over the past few weeks, I've started feeling things more. I'm starting to make sense of things that have and haven't happened for me. I'm starting to love music again. I almost cried when I was listening to the Owl City album the other day and it's just a bunch of autotuned Postal Service-esque crap. I know that I've been saying for a while that I'm ready to make changes and move on and get out of my rut and have fun again... but it's gotta be real this time or else I'm going to have to really lower my expectations for life!
I know I'm babbling... this is the emotional stuff I was talking about! If today is class 52 and I'm 5 classes behind, then day 60 is coming up soon. I'm ready to move on from this emotional stuff and move on to whatever else Mary Jarvis says is coming up...

1 comment:

Jen said...

I completely forgot this is the time when the emotional stuff shows its face. Thank you for reminding me, it's good to know I'm not the only one experiencing the highs and lows!